The Past Returns
by Vinsmouse
Summary: At 15, Cody Hawkes' had the perfect life, a father who loved him, a big brother he admired and the SierraNevadas for a back yard. When his mother starts pushing for more involvement in his life, his perfect life begins to come apart.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Child Abuse, Out of Character, Dark fic, Disturbing themes

Rating: FRT-13

Summary: At 15, Cody Hawkes' had the perfect life, a father who loved him, a big brother he admired and the Sierra-Nevadas for a back yard. When his mother starts pushing for more involvement in his life, his perfect life begins to come apart.

The Past Returns

Chapter 1

Cody sat on the porch of the cabin he shared with his dad, mesmerized by the sun as it peaked over the horizon, painting the sky with red and gold as it moved into sight. It never seemed to matter how many sunrises he witnessed, each was still magical, never the same. It was something people who lived in the cities could never understand. They seemed to think, seen one sunrise, seen them all. He shook his head lightly, unable to see how anybody could ever think anything so stupid. Oh well, he supposed it was better that they did think that way. If they didn't they'd probably be crawling all over his mountains, ruining the pristine wilderness with their trash, loud music and disregard for anybody but themselves.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Jesse commented from the doorway. He smiled, when Cody didn't even jump. He'd taught the boy well, but he couldn't take all of the credit. He knew a good part of it had to do with his son's basic personality. To put it simply, he was one of those rare people who were always in tune with their environment. Though how much of that was due to their lifestyle and how much was just the way Cody was, he'd never know.

"Yes sir," Cody agreed. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching it."

"I know what ya mean son, I never have," Jesse sighed contentedly.

Basking in the glow of the early morning sun, neither spoke for several minutes. "Dad do I have to go to the lodge?"

"Don't you want to see your mom?"

Cody shrugged, "I just have a bad feeling about it."

"What kind of bad feeling?"

"Like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop," Cody quietly replied. "Dad ya don't think she's gonna try to get me to come live with her do ya?" Cody tried to keep the sudden fear that thought brought on, out of his voice, knowing the moment the words were released that he had failed.

"Cody, what's wrong son?" Jesse quietly asked, dropping to sit beside the boy, he draped his arm over his shoulders.

"I just don't want to go to Tahoe."

"It's been a long time since you stayed with your mom," Jesse softly observed. "Are you worried the two of you wouldn't get along?"

"I don't know dad, honest," he quickly added when he saw the disbelief in his father's eyes. "I don't know why, but every time I think of being there I get scared," he shamefully admitted.

"You know she loves you don't you?" Jesse carefully asked. He couldn't help wondering if maybe he'd been wrong to bring Cody up to the mountains to live, cutting him off from steady contact with his mother. If he'd stayed in town, the boy could've spent time with her, time that would've assured him of his mother's love.

"I guess so," Cody mumbled. "If she wants me to come live with her, you won't make me will you?"

Looking into his son's blue eyes, Jesse was suprised to see something akin to terror reflected in their depths. "No son, you don't have to do anything you don't want to," he assured him.

"Oh good, in that case I don't want to muck out the horse's stalls," he teased in an effort to erase the worried look from Jesse's face.

"Nice try boy," Jesse chuckled. "Let me rephrase that, you don't have to do anything you don't want, except for the normal duties of a slave."

"Slave huh? Always knew that's why ya kept me around, free labor," he playfully grumbled as he rose to his feet and headed for the barn.

"I'll have breakfast ready when ya get back son," Jesse called after him.

With a wave of his hand, Cody acknowledged his father's words as he made his way to the barn. He was soon lost in the mindless task, his earlier disquiet fading away. When he finished, he moved to put the hayfork away, freezing in his tracks as the barn door creaked on it's hinges.

"Where is that boy?" Jesse mumbled glancing at the breakfast sitting on the table, getting cold. Telling himself he was being foolish, Jesse laid his fork down and went in search of his son. "If he's out here fooling around, I'll wring his neck," he groused. As he reached for the barn door, a sudden gust of wind nearly tore it from him just as his ears registered a whimper from within the structure. Hurrying inside, he came to a dead stop, the sight before him sending chills down his spine. "Cody," he quietly called as he kneeled in front of his son. "Are you hurt?" Jesse asked, as he reached for the curled up form, his mind racing with questions.

Cody jerked away from the touch, whimpering quietly as he attempted to curl into a tighter ball. His heart was pounding with terror, his body shaking with chills, as his mind fought the terror that had attacked without warning.

Jesse felt his heart breaking. What could've happened to put Cody in this state? Glancing around the barn's interior, he failed to see any obvious threat. Reaching again for his son, he forced himself to ignore the whimpers of fear as he checked the boy for any sign of injury. "Shhh, it's alright Cody, you're safe. It's dad, shhh," he soothed as he worked. When he was finished he was more confused than before. No injuries he could see, nothing in the barn that was out of the ordinary, but something had done this. Something or someone had reduced his Cody to a quivering mass of terror, sending him into a state where he apparently didn't even know what was happening around him. "Cody," he tried again. "Cody!" he snapped, but the only response was a slightly louder whimper. Sighing, Jesse knew he had no choice. He would have to do something he'd never done to either of his boys. Forcing Cody into a seated position, he slapped him hard across the face as he yelled his name.

"Dad?" Cody blinked at his father in confusion. "What happened? Why am I on the ground?" he asked, absently rubbing his cheek.

"Are you with me now?"

"Did I go somewhere?"

"Yeah boy, you did. Let me see," he gently ordered, moving Cody's hand away from his face. "It's already fading," he mumbled.

"What happened to my cheek?"

"You were in some kind of shock, I had to slap you to bring ya out of it."

"Shock? Why?"

"I don't know son. I came out here to see what was taking so long and found you curled up on the ground, whimpering and covered in sweat. You don't have any idea why?"

Cody shook his head, his eyes wide with fear. "What's wrong with me dad?" he whimpered.

"I don't know son, but we'll find out."

"How?"

"I think we should go see Dr. Roberts."

"What about mom?"

"We'll still see her at the lodge, I doubt I'll be able to get you in to see the doc today, okay?"

"Okay," Cody mumbled his agreement.

"Come on, let's go eat some cold breakfast and then we'll go see your mom," Jesse said, standing up and pulling Cody to his feet.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for Cody," he assured him. "It won't be the first time we've ate a cold breakfast, and it probably won't be the last."

"Yes sir."

Jackie Hawkes sat at a table in the lodge where she was to meet Jesse and Cody. Nursing a cup of coffee, she stared out the window as she waited nervously . Her relationship with Cody hadn't always been so strained. When he was younger, before she left Jesse, Jackie had doted on her youngest. Even after she moved to Tahoe, she had done her best to spend time with both boys. It was easier with Matt of course, his decision to live with her assuring her of the chance to continue the close relationship they'd always had. Cody, she sighed, he had been a different story all together. So much like his father that it scared her at times, he refused to leave the mountains he'd grown up in. She supposed she could've fought for him, but Jackie couldn't bring herself to hurt him or Jesse like that. So she had moved to Tahoe with her oldest, leaving her baby in the capable hands of his father. He had come for visits regularly during the first three years of their separation, even spending several weeks each summer in her home. She sighed again, swirling the coffee in her cup. She stared into the moving liquid as though it could give her the answers she sought. Cody hadn't spent the summer at her home since he was six years old, had barely spent even weekends with her and Matt. Even that had stopped when he was eleven and Matt went away to college. She prayed that Cody would agree to come for a visit, she missed her baby and wanted the chance to get to know him again.

Looking up from the now tepid cup of coffee, she smiled softly as she watched Cody and his father coming into view. God she missed him, missed them both if the truth were known, but she couldn't live on that mountain, isolated from civilization. She still remembered the fear she'd felt, when pregnant with Cody she'd fallen ill during a violent snowstorm. If it hadn't been for Jesse, both her and the baby could've died. There were times, even now, when she would wake in a cold sweat from a nightmare in which Jesse didn't make it back in time. Returning to find Matt standing over her body, sobbing with fear and grief, she always woke with the sound of Jesse's anguished cry echoing in her ears.

"Hey lady, this seat taken?" Jesse smiled.

"Well I was waiting for my husband, but you're better looking," she teased, waving him to the chair. Glancing around, she wondered where Cody had gone. "Where's Cody?"

"He wanted to stay outside for a bit."

"How's he doing Jess?"

"He's doing good, he's growing into a good man," he replied, not mentioning the scene in the barn.

"I'm sure he is, but not a well-rounded man," she hinted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" narrowing his eyes.

"Now Jess don't get upset, I just meant that there's things he can't learn living on a mountain."

"Like what, dealing blackjack?"

Jackie sighed, she'd been afraid of this. "Like how to live with other people. How to compromise, how to interact without feeling awkward and shy all the time. Aw Jess I know you've done a good job raising him. You've done a fantastic job and I'm proud of the man he's becoming, but there's more to the world than your mountains and he needs to see that." Taking a deep breath, she reached for his hand. "I want him to come and live with me for the summer. I want us to get the chance to know each other again. I want him to have the opportunity to see something of the way the rest of the world lives."

"What if he doesn't want to?"

"Why wouldn't he want to?"

"I don't know Jackie, maybe because you've barely seen him since he was six," he growled.

"That's not fair Jesse, I saw him almost every weekend until he was eleven. It was his decision to stop coming for visits when Matt went away to college."

"I don't think so Jackie. Cody told me what those weekends were like. He never complained, but whenever he came home, everything was about what he and Matt had done, you were only rarely mentioned. I think that had a lot to do with why he stopped coming for visits."

Jackie sighed, blinking rapidly to forestall the tears that threatened to fall. "You're right," she reluctantly admitted. "I didn't mean for it to happen, but one day I woke up and realized I didn't even know my baby."

"Is that what's behind the sudden urge to be a mother to him?"

"Something like that," she conceded, biting back the stinging retort that had sprung to her lips. "Could you at least talk to him about it?"

"Talk to me about what?" Cody asked, sliding into one of the vacant seats at the table. Looking between his parents, he could feel the earlier apprehension returning. "What's going on?"

"Ask your mother?" Jesse knew it was a little petty, but if she wanted this it was up to her to talk to him.

"Mom?"

Shooting a glare at Jesse, she turned to Cody, a soft smile spreading over her face. "Cody honey, I was just talking to your dad about spending more time with you..."

"I don't think we have time to come to the lodge more often. I guess you could come up to the cabin if it's okay with Dad," he offered.

"I have a job Cody, you know I can't afford to take the time off to camp out at the cabin."

"Quit your job, move back in with me and Dad," he boldly suggested, knowing it was useless.

Jackie sighed heavily, dropping her eyes to stare at the tabletop. "Honey I love you and your dad,but I can't take living up on that mountain, I'm sorry."

"Then what do you want?" he bluntly asked.

Smiling sadly, Jackie couldn't help thinking how like his father he was. "I want you to come spend time with me in town."

"How much time?"

"The summer," she timidly replied.

"No!" Cody nearly yelled, taking them all by surprise.

"Cody!" Jesse snapped.

"Sorry," he lowered his voice. "I can't spend the summer with you Mom."

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

"You're going to have to come up with a better reason than that Cody," she insisted.

"Why the sudden interest?"

"That's a fair question. I want you to learn how to live in a world outside that mountain," she nodded out the window. "And I want the chance to know you, really know you."

"If you want to know me, come up on the mountain and spend time with me there. I won't be me if I'm in town," he soflty added.

"Don't you want to get to know me Cody?"

"Don't!" he snapped. "You stopped having anything to do with me years ago. I never understood why you even kept up with these visits at the lodge, it's not like you care."

Jackie recoiled as if she'd been slapped. "I know I haven't been the best mother Cody, but I love you, I always will."

"Do I have to go Dad?"

"Jesse please," Jackie plead. 

"Yes son, I think you do," he firmly ordered, hiding his sadness behind a grim facade.

"Yes sir," Cody mumbled. "May I be excused?"

"Don't go far."

"I won't." Standing up, Cody blindly made his way outside. The moment he left the building, he was hit with an overwhelming urge to run. Get away! the voice inside his head screamed at him. Without conscious thought, he broke into a run, fleeing the lodge as though the devil himself were on his heels.

TBC.

Hope y'all are liking my first attempt at HMR fanfic so far. Please feed the muse with reviews. A happy muse is a productive muse, I hope. ;).


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Out of Character, Disturbing Themes

Rating: FRT-13

The Past Returns

Chapter2

"Jesse you will send him to spend a few weeks with me, won't you?" 

"I'll talk to him some more. I'm sure he just needs to get used to the idea," Jesse assured her.

"Thank you Jess."

Jesse nodded, obviously distracted, "I need to go now, we've got some things to take care of today." Standing up, he leaned down, placing a kiss on Jackie's cheek, "Goodbye sweetheart." Without another word, he walked away from her. Stepping through the door, he breathed in the crisp, clean air, his eyes already scanning the area for Cody. Cooper was still tied to the hitching post, next to Jesse's own horse, but there was no sign of his son. Remembering the scene in the barn, Jesse felt his worry rising as he began to search for the boy.

"Mr. Hawkes?" Aaron Bass' granddaughter Jen called.

"Hello Jen, what can I do for you?" Jesse smiled.

"Are you looking for Cody?"

"As a matter of fact I am, do you know where he is?"

"No sir, but I saw him run off that way," she replied, pointing towards the treeline. "Mr. Hawkes, is something wrong with Cody?"

"Why do you ask that Jen?"

"He just looked, well he looked scared."

Jesse took in the sheen of tears in the girl's eyes and the look of concern on her young face. He knew this was no trick of a childish imagination. "He's just a little upset with his mother right now, you don't need to worry honey," he assured her.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure, but I do need to catch up to him. Tell your grandpa I said hi." Walking away, he quickly made his way to his horse. Mounting the champion Appaloosa, he grabbed up Cooper's reins, leading him behind as he set off in pursuit of his son. As he approached the treeline, he could clearly see Cody's footprints. It was clear the boy was running, as Jen had said. Entering the forest, he followed the path his son had left, the prints telling him Cody was in a blind panic as he ran. There were several places where he had obviously stumbled, others that indicated he had been thrown off course as he slammed into passing trees. It didn't look like he had slowed any, indicating to Jesse that Cody probably didn't even notice the collisions he was having. "What is it that's driving you son? What are you so afraid of?"

Cody's headlong run had come to a halt as he bent over, hands resting on trembling legs as he struggled to quell his terror. Absently he rubbed at his shoulder, his eyes taking in his surroundings. For the first time since he'd been very young, Cody had no idea where he was. There was one thing he knew though, he was going to be in trouble for leaving the lodge without a word. "Time to backtrack," he mumbled as he turned around and began the trek back through the woods.

Jesse pulled up on his horse, bringing him to a halt as he watched his youngest coming towards him. He sighed sadly at the picture of despair the boy presented, trudging along with his head down, hands buried in his pockets. "Thought you weren't going far?" he quietly asked as Cody neared him.

Cody jerked, his head snapping up at the unexpected voice. "Sorry, didn't mean to go so far."

"You want to tell me what's wrong son?"

Cody shrugged. How was he supposed to tell him something he didn't know himself?

"That's not an answer Cody."

"Only answer I have," he mumbled.

"What happened to no secrets between us?" Jesse calmly asked. He didn't miss the small flinch his words caused.

"I'm not keeping any secrets, I don't know what's wrong."

"So you just took off running for no reason?"

"I...yes sir."

"Get on your horse, we need to get to Dr. Robert's office."

Reluctantly Cody took the reins from his father's hand and mounted the horse.

"How's your shoulder?"

"Sore, how'd you know?"

"Saw you wince when you got on Cooper and saw where you'd ran into a few trees when you were running." 

"That explains it," Cody mumbled.

Raising an eyebrow, Jesse made no comment, but he did make a mental note to mention it to the doctor. Leading the way, he turned his horse around and headed off at a trot.

Cody stared at the doctor's office, funny, he thought, it never looked that imposing before. Resigning himself to going inside, he tied Cooper and followed his dad into the building.

"Cody Hawkes," Jesse gave his son's name to the receptionist at the front desk.

"Yes sir," the young blonde acknowledged as she searched for Cody's name in the appointment book. "If you'll just have a seat in the waiting room the doctor will be with you shortly."

"Thank you," Jesse acknowledged. Taking Cody by the elbow, he steered the boy into the waiting room. "You doing okay son?" he asked, noticing how pale he looked.

Cody nodded, he was almost afraid to speak, not sure what would come flying out of his mouth. Taking a deep breath, followed quickly by several others, he tried to tamp down on the panic attack he could feel coming on. He knew his father was worried about him and he wished he could reassure him, but he couldn't. Not when he felt like he was about to fly apart. He wasn't sure which was worse, feeling this way or not knowing why. He did know he was scared, while he didn't know why for the most part, there was one fear he could easily name; the fear that he was losing his mind.

Jesse watched Cody, his worry for his son growing with each passing minute. He'd never seen the boy act like this, if he didn't know better he'd almost believe Cody was on drugs of some kind. He was certain however, that wasn't the case, not that it gave him much comfort.

"Cody Hawkes."

Cody looked up as the nurse called his name, eyes wide with panic.

Seeing the panic in his eyes, Jesse grabbed Cody's wrist in a firm grip. "You okay son?"

Taking a deep breath, Cody nodded shakily, his father's grip the only thing keeping him from running...again. Slowly he rose to his feet, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other he let his dad lead him into the back to an exam room. Sitting down on the exam table, he was silent as the nurse took his vital signs and left the room. Apparently it was a slow day, no sooner had she left and Dr. Roberts was stepping into the room.

"Hello Cody, what's going on with you today?" he asked as he examined the chart.

"He's had a couple of strange episodes today doc," Jesse replied when it became obvious Cody wouldn't.

"Episodes?"

"I'm not sure what they are. I found him this morning in the barn, curled up on the ground and shaking. I had to slap him to bring him out of it, he had no idea what had happened when he came back to himself. Then just a little bit ago, we were meeting Jackie at the lodge and he got upset and left. I told him not to go far, but when I came back outside he was gone. He'd left his horse and ran off, I followed his tracks. It was pretty obvious he was panicked, looks like he ran into a few trees along the way. When I found him, he didn't seem to remember running off or running into the trees." Jesse explained, his voice thick with concern.

"I see," the doctor nodded, taking notes. "Let's start with you running into trees young man. Do you have any injuries from that?"

"Shoulder hurts," Cody quietly admitted.

Carefully the balding doctor opened Cody's shirt. He winced sympathetically when he saw the bruise on the boy's shoulder. Gently he prodded the shoulder and surrounding muscle, "Well seems you just bruised it good. Put some ice on it, aspirin for the pain and take it easy for a few days, you'll be good as new. Now about these panic attacks, what can you tell me about them?"

"I don't know...I don't remember anything about what happened out in the barn."

"What about the lodge?"

"My mom wants me to come stay with her for a few weeks this summer."

"How does that make you feel?"

Cody glanced at his father, his hero, sighing heavily in resignation. "Scared," he admitted, looking away from his dad, unable to take the look of shame he was sure would be there.

"Why is that?"

"I don't know, but the thought of staying at her house scares me, bad."

"Is that why you ran?"

"Maybe...all I remember is going outside and feeling like I had to run, get away and then next thing I knew I was in the woods, breathing hard and covered in sweat. Didn't even know where I was, I was backtracking when my dad found me."

"I see," the doctor glanced at Jesse. "Jesse could you give us a minute alone?"

"Why?"

"Sometimes it's easier for a patient to talk without their parents in the room," Jon Roberts diplomatically replied.

"You want me to leave Cody?"

"It's okay dad."

"I'll be right outside the door if you need me."

"Yes sir."

Dr. Roberts waited for Jesse to leave, making sure the door was completely shut before turning back to his patient. "Cody I need to ask you some questions that may be difficult for you to answer."

"Okay," Cody agreed in a small voice.

"Cody has your mother ever hurt you?"

"No!"

"Maybe a boyfriend of her's?"

"No sir," Cody tenatively replied.

The doctor noticed Cody sounded less certain now. "You know you can tell me Cody, anything you say is confidential."

"No it's not. I'm a minor and if you think I've been abused you'd have to report it."

Jon sighed, "Yes you're right, but not if it's something that happened years ago."

"I haven't ever been abused, not by my mom or anybody else," Cody insisted.

"Then why are you afraid to stay with your mom?"

"I..." Cody dropped his head, his chin hitting his chest. "I don't know...but I don't remember being abused. Wouldn't I remember it?"

"Not necessarily."

"You think I was abused?" Cody asked in a horrified tone, he was sure there was no way his mom could've hurt him. She might not have been very good to him, distant, cold, but she'd never physically hurt him.

"It's a possibility. I'd like to bring your dad back in, is that okay?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Dr. Roberts walked to the door and pulled it open, inviting Jesse back into the room. "Jesse given what you and Cody have described, it sounds like he's suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, or at least some aspects of it."

"That doesn't make any sense doc, Cody's never been to war or been involved in anything like that."

"He doesn't need to be in a war or be a cop to suffer from pstd Jesse. The symptoms you've described are classic pstd, combined with his lack of memory about the episodes, I'm reasonably certain that's what we're dealing with."

"What could be causing that?"

"There's no way of knowing at this point Jesse. My best guess, given his age is some type of abuse, but Cody denies it."

"Abuse?" Jesse growled, instantly angry at the thought of anybody hurting one of his boys. Forcing himself to calm down, he moved closer to Cody. "Son, you know you can tell me if somebody hurt you...no matter who it was."

"I know Dad, but nobody ever did, I swear."

"Cody..."

"Jesse, it's possible he doesn't remember," the doctor interrupted.

"It never happened!" Cody yelled. "I'd remember if it did!"

"Calm down son, the doctor's only trying to help," Jesse soothed, wrapping his hand around the back of Cody's neck.

"I know," Cody sagged. "Nobody ever hurt me though Dad, I'm sure of it."

"Alright son," Jesse soothed him, ending the argument. "Doc is there anything else that could be causing these symptoms?"

"Well, it's possible that it's just stress. There are a few other possibilities though too Jesse, some pretty serious ones. I'd like to run some tests to check for any chemical imbalances."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"It will take time for the results to get back on some of them, so in the meantime I'd like Cody to see a counselor. Perhaps it will..."

"No! Please Dad don't make me talk to some stranger," Cody plead.

"It could help Cody," the doctor pointed out.

"It won't if I won't talk to him," Cody stubbornly responded.

Jesse sighed, the stubborn set of his son's jaw clearly telling him that right now it was useless to continue this conversation. "Doc why don't you run these tests and we'll talk about counseling later maybe."

"If that's what you want," the doctor agreed. "I'll send the nurse in to draw some blood Cody and then you're free to go. I want to see him back in two weeks Jesse."

"He'll be here," Jesse firmly stated. He watched the doctor leave the room, not speaking as they waited for the nurse. One thing he'd learned over the years was when to talk and when to remain silent. This definitely wasn't a time for talking. His mind was anything but silent however, as he watched his son, his eyes filled with worry. He didn't miss the nervous way Cody fingered the paper covering the exam table, or the way he jumped when the door opened, admitting the nurse. The moment the nurse had left the room with the blood samples, Cody jumped off the table, his body tense as he held back the urge to run from the room. Jesse quickly grabbed the boy's elbow before he could give into that urge. Steering him from the room, he made an appointment for two weeks from today before leading him outside.

As they rode home, Jesse found himself praying the doctor was wrong, even as his instincts screamed at him that the man was right. 'Please God help my boy through this, help us all through this trying time. Give us the strength, give me the strength to provide my son with whatever he needs to heal. Amen,' he silently prayed.

TBC

Hope y'all liked this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. Take care.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Disturbing subjects, Out Of Character

Rating: FRT-13

// and/or italics indicates a dream

The Past Returns

Chapter 3

A week later Jesse was outside chopping firewood when Matt rode up. Climbing down from his large white horse, Matt walked over to the porch and leaned against the post. For several minutes no words passed between the two men as Jesse continued chopping wood. Finally Jesse buried the axe head in the chopping block and began to gather the wood. Stepping forward Matt quietly began to help his father pick up the logs.

Jesse straightened to his full height, his arms full, "Haven't seen you in a few days son."

"Been busy, you know what it can be like."

"Yeah I do," Jesse acknowleged. "Nice of you to drop in to see your old man," he commented, adding his wood to the pile that sat next to the cabin.

"I wouldn't want you to feel neglected, I know how you old people can get," Matt teased. He stacked the wood he carried and walked back to the porch. "Saw mom the other day," he casually threw out as his father joined him.

"Did you?" Jesse calmly asked.

"She said Cody's going to come spend a few weeks with her this summer."

"We talked about it some," Jesse confirmed, without committing to anything.

"You're not going to let him?" Matt instantly bristled, ready to defend his mother's right to see Cody.

"It's not that simple..."

"Like hell it's not. If you tell him you don't want him to go, or even just look like you disapprove he'll say he doesn't want to go."

"Now you just hold on Matthew. You know I've never kept Cody from seeing his mom if he wants to."

Taking a deep breath, Matt forced himself to calm down, silently admitting the truth of his dad's words. "What's going on dad?"

"I don't know son, Cody doesn't want to go and right now I'm not inclined to force him."

"Did he say why?"

Jesse stared at the barn, trying to decide what, if anything, he should tell his oldest. He considered asking him flat out if he'd ever noticed anybody hurting his brother. He dismissed the thought almost as quickly as it came, sure that Matt would only go on the defensive if he asked. "Not exactly," he hedged.

"Dad what do you mean?"

Before Jesse could answer the question the front door opened and Cody took off at a run. "Cody stop!" he barked the order in his best Marine voice, bringing the panicked boy to an almost instant halt. Unfortunately it didn't end his panic, he dropped to his knees where he wrapped his arms around himself, rocking back and forth as his breath came in heavy gasps. "It's alright son, you're safe," Jesse soothed, rubbing his hand over Cody's back.

Matt watched the scene before him, his mind reeling with shock. He didn't understand what was happening to his brother. Following the same path his brother and father had taken, he stood uncertainly to the side, watching and worrying.

"Dad? It happened again, didn't it?" Cody whispered, looking up at his father.

"I'm afraid so son."

"I thought...I haven't had any trouble for the last two days, I thought it was over."

"I was hoping it was too Cody, but if Dr. Roberts' is right I don't think it'll go away that easily."

"Dad, Cody, what's going on?"

Jesse waved him to silence, keeping his focus on Cody. "Do you remember what happened son?"

"I heard you and Matt talking about me going to mom's and I started breathing hard, felt like I needed to run. Next thing I knew I was out here on my knees. Isn't there something you can do to make it stop? Please dad, I just want it to stop," he plead.

"I know son," Jesse soothed. "I wish there was some way I could stop it, but I don't know how." Admitting that he was helpless to fix his son's problem was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do, but Jesse knew that he couldn't be less than honest. They'd always been truthful with each other and in this case he felt it was even more important than ever.

Matt watched them, listening with growing concern to the conversation between father and son. "Would somebody please tell me what's going on?"

"I can't do it dad," Cody whispered.

"Do you want me to tell him?"

"No...but I guess he has a right to know," Cody miserably replied. Pulling away from his dad, he pushed himself to his feet. He knew Matt should be told, he couldn't deny that, but he didn't want to see the look on his face when he was told the truth. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he trudged into the house, unwilling and unable to stay.

Matt and Jesse watched him go, one with a look of confusion; one with concern, and both wearing looks of sadness. "Let's move away from the house," Jesse said as he turned and led the way towards the barn. He stood outside the barn so he could keep an eye on the house while they talked.

"What was that all about?" Matt asked the moment his father stopped walking.

"Panic attack."

"I could see that dad, but why?"

"We don't know," Jesse sighed. "I took him to see Dr. Roberts, but he doesn't know what's happening. He said it could be post traumatic stress disorder, stress, or some sort of chemical imbalance."

"How long has this been going on?"

"A week..."

"A week?" Matt nearly yelled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You haven't been around Matt and it wasn't something I was going to discuss over the radio."

"You could've come to the ranger station and told me."

"Matt last week I found your brother curled up in the barn, shaking and covered in sweat. When he came out of it he couldn't tell me what had happened. Then after we saw your mom at the lodge he had another attack. He was so panicked that he left his horse at the lodge and took off running through the woods. Frankly I wasn't sure he could handle going to the ranger station right now." Jesse scrubbed a hand over his face, staring at the house with worry filled eyes, he continued his story. "I followed his tracks through the woods, he was in such a blind panic that he was stumbling and running into trees. I met up with him when he was on his way back to the lodge. Matt, he didn't remember running or hitting trees. I took him to the doctor that afternoon. Doc took some blood for tests and wanted to see him back in two weeks, until then there's not much we can do."

Matt stared at his dad as he told his story, his mind reeling with shock. Several times he opened his mouth to ask a question or spout a denial, he wasn't sure which, but each time he remained silent, unsure of what to say. "Nothing?" he questioned disbelievingly.

"The only thing that could be done is counseling and he won't consider it."

"Won't consider it? He's fifteen dad, make him."

Jesse arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest, "You really think that'd do any good?"

"No, guess not. It's just..." Matt trailed off, suddenly feeling unsure of himself.

"You're worried about your little brother and you want to help him."

"Yeah," Matt quietly agreed.

"There's something else Matt," Jesse hesitantly began the part of the conversation he dreaded.

"What?"

"Doc said one possible cause of this is abuse that Cody might have suppressed. Did you ever see anything or hear anything when you were kids that might've been more serious than you realized at the time?"

"Abuse? No! No way dad..I would've noticed...I'm sure I would've," Matt insisted, though he wasn't sure which of them he was trying to convince.

"Matt I don't want to upset you and I'm not making any accusations, but your brother said he feels really scared whenever he thinks of staying with your mom."

"You think mom...you've got to be kidding me!"

"Not your mom, but maybe somebody close to her, a boyfriend or a neighbor," he prodded, hoping to jog the boy's memory.

Matt chewed his lip thoughtfully, racking his brain as he tried to recall anything like Jesse was suggesting. "I can't think of anybody dad. Is the doctor sure about this?"

"No, he just said it was one possibility. However, with the way Cody is reacting to the idea of staying with your mom I can't help wondering if he might be right."

"Cody doesn't remember anybody hurting him?"

"No, but Dr. Roberts said that's not unusual and it would explain why he's exhibiting signs of ptsd."

"Have you tried to talk to him any? Nevermind, of course you have," Matt answered his own question. He might not always approve of the way his dad was raising Cody, but he knew that he would do anything for the kid. There was no way he would let him suffer like this and not try to find out what was happening. "I was thinking about spending the night if it's okay with you?"

"You're always welcome here son, you know that. Are you thinking maybe Cody will talk to you?"

Matt shrugged, "It's worth a shot."

Matt tried several times that afternoon and into the evening to get Cody alone, but to no avail. By that night he was sure that his little brother was purposely avoiding him. Finally Cody retired to his bedroom to get ready for bed. Matt gave him five minutes and followed after him. Nodding a greeting, he ignored the younger boy who lay nervously watching him as he got ready for bed. Climbing into the other bed, he turned and faced Cody. Speaking as though he were trying to gentle a skittish horse, he quietly called his brother's name. "I think we need to talk," he softly said when no answer was given.

"No we don't," Cody denied.

"Cody, dad told me what's going on."

"I know," Cody whispered, his eyes downcast.

"Cody look at me please." The only answer to his quiet request was the stubborn shaking of his brother's head. "Why not?"

"Don't want to see it."

"See what?" Matt was confused, that wasn't something he'd been expecting.

"The disappointment," came the quiet reply.

"You think I'm disappointed in you? Why would I be?"

"Cause I'm weak, a coward."

"Awww Cody," Matt felt his heart breaking at the miserable tone of his brother's voice. "I could never be disappointed in you little brother."

"Really?" Cody finally glanced at Matt, just as quickly looking away.

"Really, and for the record Cody, I don't think you're weak or a coward. You're one of the bravest people I know, I couldn't be prouder to call you brother."

"But I'm scared to go to mom's and," he paused to take a deep breath in an attempt to stave off another panic attack. "Just thinking about it makes me want to run away as far as I can," he shamefully admitted.

"That doesn't make you weak or a coward Cody."

"It doesn't?" Cody silently cursed the note of desperate hope he heard in his voice, another sign of weakness to his troubled mind.

"No it doesn't," Matt firmly insisted. "There's got to be a reason why you're reacting that way and we're going to find out what it is. Then dad and I are going to get you through this, help you to deal with whatever the problem is, I promise."

"Thank you Matt," Cody choked out.

Matt ignored the tears Cody tried to secretly wipe away, "You're welcome Cody. Is there anything you want to talk about tonight?"

"I don't think so, maybe tomorrow," Cody half-heartedly offered.

"Alright, goodnight Cody."

"Goodnight Matt," Cody mumbled. Turning over, he wrapped the covers around himself and tried to relax.

Lying in the next bed, Matt listened for what seemed like hours to the sound of his brother tossing and turning. He sighed with relief when Cody finally seemed to find the sleep that had eluded him so far. Breathing deeply, he closed his eyes, finally allowing himself to sleep as well.

_//It wasn't as dark as he was used to, the lights from outside spilled into his room, filling it with shadows. Cody tried to be brave. He told himself that there was nothing hiding in the shadows, but still his heart raced with fear. He heard it then, quiet steps in the hallway, the jiggling of his doorknob and the creaking sound as the door opened. Pulling the covers over his head, he tried in vain to hide from the monster that lurked in the shadows. It was useless though, a small whimper escaped him as the covers were suddenly jerked away. Looking up into the face of his tormenter, his young eyes filled with tears as he wondered again why he was being hurt? He knew he must've done something bad. Someone he loved, who loved him, wouldn't hurt him if he hadn't done something to deserve it, but he couldn't remember what he'd done. He opened his mouth to ask why, but the question never emerged. The only sound that came from his mouth was a scream of terror and pain.//_

Cody jerked awake, shaking with fear and covered in sweat. Glancing over at Matt, he was relieved to see that he was still asleep. "Guess I only screamed in the dream," he whispered to himself. Deciding a shower was needed, he climbed out of the bed and grabbing some clean clothes he crept from the room. As he stood under the falling water, his dream began to come back to him. Absently he washed himself as two questions ran through his mind. Did it really happen? If it did, how was he going to tell his dad?

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Keep the muse happy and well fed, please review.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Out of Character, Disturbing themes, Violence

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 4

Jesse woke the next morning like he usually did, with the sun. Getting dressed, he quietly walked to Cody's room to check on the boys. Pushing open the door, he was surprised to see only Matt sleeping in the room. Wondering where Cody was so early in the day, he went in search of him. It didn't take him long to find the boy. Standing at the entrance to the living room, he watched Cody sitting on the couch, absently petting Ding as he stared into the flames of the fireplace. "You're up early son," he casually commented as he stepped into the room. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," he apologized.

"It's okay, didn't hear you come in," Cody explained away his jumpiness.

Jesse sat down on the other side of Ding, "Want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"Whatever's got you up so early in the morning. You don't usually wake up until you smell breakfast cooking."

For several minutes Cody stared into the fire, silently debating with himself on how to respond. "Had a bad dream," he finally admitted.

"Couldn't get back to sleep?"

"No sir, so I got up and took a shower."

"What was the dream about?"

"I'm not sure," Cody hedged. The truth was he remembered every moment of the dream, or was it a memory, but he didn't know if he was ready to tell his dad about it.

"Cody, son, if you don't tell me what's bothering you I can't help you," Jesse calmly pointed out.

"I don't remember," Cody snapped.

"Cody."

"Sorry," Cody mumbled. "Didn't mean to snap."

"I know this is all getting to you son, it's getting to me too, but snapping at people isn't going to help."

"I know, I'm not sure where that came from. I really am sorry," he apologized again. He'd never in his life spoken like that to his father. In Cody's eyes his dad was a hero, the greatest man alive and he deserved all the love and respect he could give him. He couldn't believe he had snapped at him like that, especially when he was only trying to help. That was more than his mom or Matt had ever done. Startled by that thought, he didn't hear anything else his dad said. The echo of it kept running through his mind as he asked himself where it had come from. As startling as the thought had been, he was nearly as shaken by the feeling of bitterness that accompanied it.

Jesse had stopped talking after a minute when he realized Cody wasn't listening. He tried to get the boy's attention a couple of times, with no success. Reaching across the couch, he shook his son's shoulder, "Cody, you with me boy?"

"Huh? Sorry Dad, guess I zoned out for a minute. What were you saying?"

"I said I know you're sorry and I think getting snappish is probably normal after all that's happened in the last week."

"That doesn't excuse it, you don't deserve to be treated like that."

"No it doesn't, but it does make it understandable." Raising his hand, he ruffled the boy's hair. "Don't you worry about it son, if I can survive a Marine corps drill instructor I think I can handle a 15 year old snapping at me." That brought a chuckle from him, just as Jesse had been hoped for. "Want to make it up to me?"

"What can I do?" Cody asked, eager to make amends.

"Go wake your brother up for breakfast."

"Aww come on Dad, anything but that," he teased.

"You can handle it son, I've got faith in you," Jesse grinned, his eyes twinkling with suppressed laughter.

"Ought to get combat pay for this," Cody grumbled. Pushing himself to his feet, he climbed the stairs to his bedroom and went inside. "Matt...hey Matt, time to get up," he called. The only response he got was muffled by the pillow his brother's face was currently buried in. Grinning, he stepped over to his own bed and picked up the pillow from it. Standing between the beds, he tossed the pillow back and forth in his hands, "Should I or shouldn't I? I should," he decided, whapping his brother in the head with the soft bundle. Quickly he tossed it onto his bed and began to straighten the covers, doing his best to look innocent.

Matt jerked awake, blinking in the morning light, he wondered what had hit him. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as his gaze landed on his brother. Sitting up, he grabbed his pillow and whapped Cody in the back with it.

"Hey! What did ya do that for?" Cody demanded indignantly.

"Payback little brother, payback."

"Payback for what?"

"You go try that innocent act on somebody that doesn't know you Toad," Matt smirked. "I know you hit me with your pillow."

"You're dreaming Matt, I was just making my bed," Cody denied the accusation. "and it's Ace," he added.

"Sure you were Toad, so why did you wake me up?"

"Time for breakfast," Cody answered without thinking.

"See I knew you were the one that woke me up."

Cody ducked his head, realizing that he'd just unintentionally admitted his guilt.

"Why didn't you just say my name?"

You're kidding right? That never works Matt, but I did try."

"Sure it does, I'm easy to wake up."

Cody laughed, "Maybe if there's an earthquake."

"You ask the rangers, I never have any trouble getting up," Matt sincerly pointed out.

"That's work, it's different."

"Same here."

"Afraid not big brother," Cody smirked as he straightened from making his bed. "A guy should get combat pay for waking you up," he added, quickly making his escape before Matt could decide to use his pillow again. Chuckling he made his way down the stairs, joining his dad in the kitchen, "He's up."

"Thanks son, pancakes are almost done. Could you set the table?"

"Sure thing dad."

From the corner of his eye Jesse watched his son. He was relieved that the boy seemed to be in a better mood, he prayed it would last. However, after the experiences of the past week, Jesse feared that his prayer was useless. He set the platter of pancakes on the table just as Matt stepped into the room. Grabbing the plate of bacon from the back of the stove he added it to the table and sat down. Bowing his head he said a short prayer. A grin spread across his face when he looked up just in time to see both boys grabbing the bacon. "You could at least wait for the amen," he teased.

"We did," Cody grinned. "We just move fast."

"Uh-huh," Jesse nodded. "Well why don't you just move that plate my way," he playfully ordered.

"Sorry dad, survival of the fittest, isn't that what you've always taught me?" Cody asked, snagging several pieces of bacon for himself.

"Taught you respect for your elders too," Jesse grumbled.

"You taught us to look out for our elders too," Matt chimed in. "Which is why we can't let you have any bacon, a man your age has to be careful," winking at his brother as he spoke.

"You're gonna see what a man my age can do if you don't hand over that bacon boy," Jesse threatened.

"I don't know...what do you think Cody? Should we let him have some bacon?"

"Hmmm, well a man his age should be careful, but then again he doesn't have a lot of time left, I guess we should let him enjoy what he has." Cody fought to keep the grin off his face, enjoying the light-hearted teasing.

Jesse shot him a mock glare, "You just wait boy, you'll pay for that."

Cody froze, the pancakes he'd been transferring to his plate suspended from his fork.

"Cody? Son are you okay?" Sharing a concerned glance with Matt, he stood up and moved behind Cody's chair. "Cody, talk to me boy," he tried again, laying his hand on Cody's shoulder.

Cody jerked in his seat, a whimper of fear escaping from him. "No, don't," he mumbled.

"Don't what Cody?" Matt asked, watching his brother, his green eyes filled with concern.

"Matt?" Cody looked across the table at his brother, confusion clearly written on his face.

"Are you okay now son?" Jesse asked, taking a step away.

"Dad?" Cody looked up at him. "When did you get up? What happened?"

"I'm not sure Cody, you just suddenly froze up."

"Froze up? But why?"

"I was hoping you could tell me." Jesse moved back to his seat. Recognizing that Cody, right now, was like a frightened animal he hoped that by giving him some space he'd be able to remember something. "You jerked when I put my hand on your shoulder and you said no, don't. Do you have any idea why you'd say that?"

Cody stared at his dad incomprehensibly, what his father was describing didn't make any sense. However he knew his dad would never lie to him about something like this, if only he could figure out why it had happened. When it came to him, he felt sick.

Jesse watched him as the blood drained from his face, making him look ill. "What is it son?" he quietly asked.

"May I be excused?"

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"I don't feel very good," he answered, keeping his eyes on his plate.

Jesse sighed, "You're excused, I'll put you're plate in the warming drawer in case you get hungry later."

"Thanks dad." Pushing away from the table, Cody quickly left the room.

"You have any idea what that was about?" Matt asked his dad.

Jesse shook his head, "I wish I did. Did he say anything to you last night?"

"No, just that he didn't want to talk. He did say maybe he would today," Matt mused. "You think I should go talk to him?" he asked, already rising to his feet.

"Sit down boy," Jesse ordered.

"He's obviously upset dad, one of us should talk to him," Matt argued.

"I'm not saying you shouldn't, but eat first. You may need the energy and it'll give Cody a chance to pull himself together," he added when Matt opened his mouth to argue.

Reluctantly Matt sat back down, a mumbled "yes sir," shot his father's way as he picked up his fork. "I'm really worried about him dad."

"So am I son."

Cody stood in the barn, brushing his horse's coat. The action worked to calm his frazzled nerves, a little bit at least. He knew at some point his dad or brother would come looking for him. Whichever one came to the barn, he would want answers, of that Cody was certain. The problem was he didn't have any answers he was comfortable giving. Since he'd awakened last night from the nightmare, memories had been coming back to him in flashes. He wasn't sure what had happened in the kitchen, but he knew that for a few minutes he hadn't been in the room with his dad and brother. Cody had no idea what had triggered the memory, but he knew it had taken him to a place that scared him, a time and place he didn't want to remember. When the memories had started coming to the surface, he had tried, was still trying, to push them back into the corner of his mind they'd been hidden in. Buried so deep he didn't even remember them or when he'd shoved them into the recesses of his mind. "Why couldn't they have stayed where they were?"

"Why couldn't what have stayed where they were?" Matt asked, stepping up to the horse and scratching his nose.

"His mane, the hairs won't stay in place," he motioned to his horse.

"Cody, please don't lie to me. You can tell me to get lost, or that it's none of my business, but don't lie."

Cody sighed, resting his forehead against the stallion's flank. "It's none of your business."

"You're my little brother and something is hurting you, that makes it my business," Matt countered.

"Didn't think that would really work," Cody mumbled.

"So, talk to me Toad."

"It's Ace," he automatically corrected.

"Cody," Matt crossed his arms over his chest, silently telling his brother he wasn't going anywhere.

"What do ya want to talk about?"

"You're going to insist on playing dumb, aren't you?"

"I'm not psychic Matt."

"No you're not, but I think you know what I want to talk about. I'll play along though, let's talk about these panic attacks you've been having. What's causing that?"

"Doctor said it could be ptsd."

"I know that, but that doesn't really answer my question."

"It started last week, I didn't know why. Dad took me to see the doctor, but he doesn't know why either."

"You know why now, don't you?" Matt calmly asked.

"Why do you say that?"

"I didn't you did."

"No I didn't."

"Just now, you said you didn't know why, past tense. That makes me think you know why now."

Cody's entire body tensed up, tossing the curry comb to the side he moved out of the stall. As he tried to shoulder his way past Matt, his brother moved to block his path. "Move out of my way Matt," he ordered.

"No." He tightened his hold on Cody's shoulders as the younger boy struggled to break free.

"What do you want from me?"

"I want to know what's wrong?"

"Why?" Cody asked suspiciously.

"Why?" Matt was surprised by the question. "You're my little brother, I want to help you."

"You didn't then," Cody accused. "You didn't want to be around me!"

"What are you talking about Cody? I've never treated you like that."

"You left me and I got... Let me go," he ordered again. Twisting his body to the side, he successfully broke Matt's hold, rushing past him. He was nearly to the door when Matt's words stopped him in his tracks.

"I love you Cody, please let me help you."

Cody fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around his chest he waited. He wasn't disappointed, a moment after he fell to the ground, Matt joined him.

Hesitantly Matt laid his arm over Cody's shoulders. He felt his brother tense beneath his touch, but at least he didn't pull away from him. "What happened Cody?"

"I can't tell you," came the whispered reply.

"Why not?"

"I'm afraid."

"Of what?" Matt gently asked.

"You leaving me again."

"Cody you know why I went to live with Mom..."

Cody shook his head.

"I thought we were past this."

"You left and I got...hurt," the last word came out as a whisper.

"What do you mean you got hurt? You mean it hurt your feelings, right?" God he hoped that was what Cody meant. He couldn't mean what it sounded like he did, please God not that.

"I was bad," Cody hung his head. He didn't remember every time, but he remembered enough. He could hear that voice telling him he'd been bad and that he had to pay. Then the pain would come, but he couldn't yell or he'd be in more trouble. He was horrified by what he was remembering as well as terrified, some instinct warning him this was only the beginnning.

Jesse stood in the yard, just outside the open barn door. His eyes filled with anger as he listened to his sons talking, he couldn't hear everything, but what he did hear made him want to inflict some hurt of his own.

A noise, somewhere between a strangled cry and a howl of rage brought Matt's head up. Staring into his father's angry eyes, he jumped to the only conclusion he could. Letting go of Cody he jumped to his feet, rushing the older man and bringing him to the ground. "You son of a bitch! How could you do that to him?" Matt yelled, using his fist to puncuate his questions.

When Matt pulled away, Cody had the confirmation he'd feared. He had been bad, he had deserved what had happened and now Matt would leave again. He'd never want anything to do with him, no more...his head snapped up as his brother's angry yell reached him. Eyes wide with shock, he realized with growing horror the trouble he'd caused. Pushing himself to his feet he rushed forward, knocking Matt off their father.

"Cody what are you doing? Let me go," Matt struggled to get out from under the boy without hurting him. "He deserves what he's getting and worse, don't protect..."

"It wasn't him Matt," Cody interrupted, ending his tirade. "It wasn't dad," he repeated.

"Then who was it? Who hurt you Cody?"

Cody looked away then, he knew Matt wouldn't like his answer. Standing up, he offered a helping hand to his brother, pulling him to his feet. Turning away, he walked over to his dad, relieved to see him on his feet as well. "Are you okay dad?"

"I'm fine son," Jesse assured him. "What about you?"

"I think I know why I've been having panic attacks," he softly replied.

"Somebody hurt you?"

Cody nodded.

"Who was it son?"

"I'm not sure."

"What do you mean you're not sure?" Matt asked.

"I don't remember that part yet, I can't see a face. I just hear a voice, telling me I was bad..." Cody trailed off, his voice thick with unshed tears.

"Then how do you know it wasn't dad?"

"Do you want it to be him?"

"Of course not Cody, but you said it happened after I left. You sounded like you thought it was my fault, what else am I supposed to think?"

"I know dad's voice, it wasn't him. Besides, that isn't the only time you left me behind." Giving his brother a meaningful stare, he turned and walked back into the house, neither confirming or denying that he held Matt responsible for what had happened to him.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please review, the muse loves reviews.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Out of Character, Disturbing Themes, Child Abuse

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 5

"Cody!" Matt called, following him into the house. "What do you mean that wasn't the only time?" he demanded.

Jesse went after them, staying back and letting them handle it for now, but there if he was needed.

Cody turned to stare at him incredously, "You don't even remember?"

"When I went away to college?"

Cody shook his head, he couldn't beleive this.

"Come on Cody," Matt plead. "Don't make me play guessing games."

He continued to stare at him, debating with himself what to say. Cody sighed, "I was six, you went away to space camp..."

"That was the last summer you stayed at mom's," Matt supplied. "No," he shook his head. "No way, you're not telling me Mom hurt you."

"Would that be so hard to believe?" Cody quietly asked.

"Hell yes it would," Matt snapped. "I can't imagine Mom hurting you, there's just no way she would."

Cody snorted, "I don't believe you Matt. As soon as you knew somebody hurt me you were so quick to assume it was Dad, but you won't even consider that Mom could do anything wrong. You know what, just go on back to the ranger station," Cody ordered, disgusted and hurt.

"No Cody..."

"Leave! It's what you're best at isn't it?" Cody sneered. Quickly he turned away from his brother, swiping angrily at his eyes before the tears could fall. His dad's voice calling his name stopped him in his tracks, but he didn't turn around. He made no move at all until he felt Jesse's arm wrapping around his shoulder, lending him the strength and support he needed. If not for his father's strong arm supporting him, Cody would've collapsed, he very nearly did anyway. Vaguely aware of Matt hovering nearby, he let his dad lead him to the couch, lowering him to rest against the cushions.

"Did she hurt you son?" Jesse forced himself to ask. Like Matt he couldn't imagine Jackie ever hurting one of her boys. 'Isn't that what she did when she left?' he silently asked himself.

"I'm not sure," came the nearly inaudilble reply.

"You said you could hear a voice and you knew it wasn't mine, can't you tell if it's your mom's or not?"

"It's not Mom's voice, but..."

Jesse waited for his son to go on. The last thing he wanted to do was push the boy. He'd known veterans who suffered from ptsd and the damage that pushing them to deal with memories they weren't ready for had caused.

"But what..." Matt began to ask, biting off the question at a look from Jesse.

Jesse shot his oldest a sharp look, silently ordering him to be quiet. Rubbing Cody's back, he made himself wait for the answer to his question.

"I think maybe she was there," Cody finally finished his sentence.

"Why do you think that Cody?" Jesse gently asked.

"I had a nightmare. It was nighttime and I was hiding under the covers, somebody pulled them off of me..."

"Somebody?" Matt interrupted.

Cody nodded, "I don't know who it was. All I could see was their eyes and I knew somehow that it was somebody that was supposed to love me. I didn't know what I had done but I knew I must've done something bad, cause otherwise somebody that loved me wouldn't hurt me like that." Cody sounded so much like a scared little boy, his voice so quiet they could barely hear it, and both of the older Hawkes men could feel their hearts breaking at the pain they could clearly hear.

"Cody, son, if you couldn't see who it was why do you think your mom knew?"

"I saw her," Cody replied, oblivious of the pained gasp from his older brother. "She was standing in the doorway, watching and then she turned away." Suddenly he buried his face against his father's chest, no longer able to keep the tears back. "Why dad? How could she do that?"

"Maybe she didn't Cody," Matt suggested.

"You think I'm lying?"

"It was a dream, you don't know that it really happened that way."

Jesse glared at Matt as he felt his youngest trembling in his arms. He understood how hard this was for Matt, hell it was hard for him to face it too and she was only his wife, not his mother. However, the boy needed to see that Cody didn't need to hear what amounted to a defense of the woman who, in his mind at least, had allowed him to be hurt.

"Do you think it was just a dream too Dad?" Cody asked in a small voice.

"I think it's a memory, or maybe a few memories, trying to come to the surface and your mind may have gotten events mixed up," Jesse carefully answered.

"So you think I'm making it up too, or I'm just confused?" Cody pulled away from his father, away from what had been a comforting embrace, and pushed himself to his feet. Staring at father and brother, his face reflected the betrayal he felt as the panic began to build. Turning away, he ran from the house, panic giving him an added burst of speed.

Jesse jumped up, getting to the door, he was just in time to see Cody enter the barn. "You stay here," he ordered Matt as he stepped onto the porch. Quickly walking towards the barn, he hoped he got there before Cody could get on Cooper and take off. He needn't have worried, he realized that as soon as he stepped into the barn. The sound of crying could be heard from the loft, bringing a frown to Jesse's weathered face. He wanted to go to his son, to comfort him, but something told him that Cody needed this time alone, needed the chance to release some of the grief and fear he was feeling. Reluctantly he turned back to the house, his steps on the return trip slower, but just as purposeful.

"Is he okay?" Matt asked, his body practically vibrating with the need to check on his brother.

"He's in the loft, I thought it was best if we leave him be for now," Jesse sadly replied.

"Leave him alone? He doesn't need to be alone right now, he needs to know we care and that we're here to help him," Matt insisted. He stepped off the porch, his progress halted by the firm hold of his dad's hand on his arm. "Let me go," he ordered.

"No, not until you're willing to listen."

"I'm listening," Matt sullenly spat.

"Cody needs a chance to let some of what he's feeling out, without the fear that we'll think less of him for doing so."

Matt glanced to the barn and back to his father. "He's crying?" he asked, unnecessairly.

"He is, and he needs it."

"I wouldn't think less of him for that."

"I know you wouldn't son, neither would I. However your brother is fifteen and even though he's more mature than most his age, he's still learning what it means to be a man. Which means that he worries about appearing weak, especially in front of us."

"In front of you maybe," Matt scoffed. "Right now I doubt he cares what I think."

"He cares Matt," Jesse assured him.

"Dad, do you think Mom really knew about whatever happened?" Matt changed the subject, knowing they could argue all day about this.

Jesse sighed, "I don't know son. I hate to think she could know somebody was hurting either of you boys and turn away, but I never thought she'd walk out on her youngest either."

"I really hurt him by doubting, didn't I?"

"I won't deny it, I think you did. We both did," he added, shouldering his own part of the blame.

Matt nodded, glancing again at the barn. "I know what I can do to make it up to him," he mumbled.

Jesse's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "What are you planning boy?"

"I need to get back to the station," Matt said, ignoring his father's question. Pulling away from Jesse's hold, he headed for the barn. As quietly as possible he saddled his horse, leading him from the barn a few minutes later and climbing into the saddle. Not daring to look at his dad, afraid he would read his intentions in his eyes, Matt pulled on the reins and urging his horse into a trot, he rode away from the cabin.

Jesse watched his oldest ride away, unaware of another pair of eyes that watched with him. He had a feeling he knew where Matt was headed, he just hoped it didn't blow up in his face. Sighing, he shook his head and walked to the porch, where he sat down to wait for Cody to join him.

Cody watched his brother ride away, his cheeks streaked with tears. He didn't understand why it hurt so much, it wasn't as though it was the first time he'd seen Matt leave. For as far back as he could remember, Matt had been leaving him behind. First when he'd moved into town with their mother, then going away for the summer, later leaving for college. For a while after Matt joined the rangers, things had been good between the brothers. Sometimes Matt was a little over protective, which Cody thought was really ironic, considering. He didn't really mind though, it felt nice to have his brother looking out for him, even if he didn't need it. "Looks like that's over," he whispered. I never should've mentioned Mom, should've known how he'd react, he thought to himself. Sadly, he moved away from the loft door. Flopping down in the hay, he burrowed into it, curling up, and trying to find the comfort he so desperately needed.

Matt had returned to the ranger station, fully intending on taking one of the trucks and going to see his mother. As John Lennon had said though, life is what happens while you're busy making other plans, and that morning proved it true. He'd barely made it back to the station when the first call came in. Quickly sending Cutler and Hart out to rescue the stranded climbers, he was just about to leave when the radio squawked again. The whole morning went like that, spreading into the afternoon and not giving them a break until late that day. Matt wasted no time, as soon as the calls slowed, he put Cutler in charge and headed for his mother's house.

"Matthew," Jackie smiled.

"Mom we need to talk," Matt greeted, stepping into the house.

"What's wrong honey? Has something," she paused, her hand going to her chest, "are your dad and Cody okay?"

"Dad's okay."

"What happened to Cody?" she demanded, instantly picking up on the omission.

"Nothing, at least not anything recent."

"You're not making any sense honey."

Matt sighed, "Let's go upstairs Mom, this could take a while."

"Alright," Jackie agreed. Glancing over her shoulder, she led the way up the stairs and into the kitchen. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Sure," Matt accepted, glad for the delay.

Jackie asked no more questions as she went about making the coffee. "You ready to tell me what's bothering you now?" she asked as she handed him his cup.

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready," Matt admitted.

"That bad?"

He nodded. Taking a sip of coffee, he wondered how to start. "Mom I went up to dad's cabin last night, I wanted to talk to him about Cody spending some time with you this summer."

"I take it things didn't go well?" Jackie watched the frown grow on his face and the guily look in his eyes. She kicked herself for asking him to talk to Jesse, she never should've put him in the middle like this. "Don't worry honey, I'm sure I can convince your dad to let Cody come for a visit," she soothed.

"I don't think you will Mom," Matt reluctantly contradicted her. "Cody isn't in any state of mind to stay here, to be honest I don't know if he ever will be."

"What are you talking about Matt?" she asked, sitting her coffee cup on the counter.

Matt sighed, "Cody's having panic attacks, they seem to be connected to spending the summer, even part of it, here."

"Is that what your dad told you? I swear I don't know what is wrong with that man sometimes. I can't believe he would make up a story like that just to keep Cody up on that mountain. Can't he see it's not healthy?"

"He's not making it up Mom, I've witnessed one of them."

Jackie gaped at him, her eyes reflecting the shock she felt. "But why? I don't understand why Cody would have panic attacks over staying with me."

Matt could see she was genuinely confused, making him think he was right and Cody's dream mind was mixing events up. Now he just had to figure out how to explain it to her.

"Matt?"

He took a deep breath, bracing himself for the coming conversation. "Cody said he didn't know why he was having panic attacks. Dad took him to see the doctor, he thinks it might be ptsd..."

"PTSD, what's that?"

"Post traumatic stress disorder," Matt replied.

Jackie gave him a puzzled look, "That doesn't make any sense Matt."

"No it didn't, that is until this morning."

"Why? What happened this morning?"

"He had a flashback and apparently last night he had a nightmare," he licked suddenly drying lips. "He doesn't remember everything, but he remembers some, enough to maybe explain the panic attacks."

"Would you please just tell me," Jackie plead.

Matt looked into her eyes, looking away when he saw the glimmer of unshed tears waiting to fall. Taking a sip of his coffee, he forced himself to face her. "He remembers somebody hurting him," Matt didn't miss the guilty look that flashed through her eyes. "He says you knew," he added. He took a step back, staring at her in horror, as the look of guilt grew. "You did, didn't you?"

"No, of course not," Jackie tried to deny.

"Don't lie to me Mom!" Turning away, he took another sip of the suddenly bitter coffee. With an angry snarl he threw the cup into the sink, shattering it. Whirling around, he glared at her, "Who was it? Who hurt my brother and why didn't you do something about it?"

Jackie jumped when the mug hit the sink, "Why are you so sure he's remembering something real?"

"Stop it! Something happened to him and you know what it was."

Jackie took a step back, she'd never seen Matt so angry before. Swallowing hard, she nodded, "I didn't know at first and as soon as I did I put a stop to it."

"Well I know you didn't have the person arrested, Dad would've known about it if you had. So how did you put a stop to it?"

"I sent him back to your dad and I made sure it never happened again..."

"By never having him spend the summers here?"

"It was the only way I could be sure he was safe," she confirmed in a small voice.

"Did you blame him?"

"Blame him?" Jackie stared up at him, unable to believe he would ask her something like that. "Of course I didn't blame him," she vowed.

"Then why did you start distancing yourself from him? I can't believe I didn't see it before now, all those years he came to visit on the weekends...Dad's right, you were cold, distant. No wonder Cody never wanted to come for a visit after I went away to college."

"He thought I blamed him?" she asked, horrified.

"What else was he supposed to think? But no, I don't suppose he did until recently, since he only just started remembering what happened. Instead he must've thought you hated him, but he wouldn't have even had a clue as to why. I wonder which is worse, feeling like your mother hates you and not knowing why, or being abused and thinking your mother blames you for it?"

"Oh God, what have I done?" Jackie stumbled back, colliding with the wall. She looked at her oldest through eyes blurred by tears and slid down the wall.

Matt wanted to hate her for the pain she'd caused his little brother, but he couldn't. She was his mother and he just couldn't turn his back on her, not even after this. Squatting down beside her, he pulled her into his arms, "Who was it mom? Who hurt Cody?"

Jackie was surprised when she felt Matt's arms come around her, she'd been sure he'd walk out now that he knew. He still might when he heard her answer, "I can't tell you," she reluctantly responded.

"Why not?" Matt asked, forcing himself to stay calm. "Did he threaten you? It was a he, wasn't it?"

"Yeah it was a he, but he didn't threaten me, I just can't tell you."

"You're gonna have to do better than that Mom."

"I can't do better, please Matt don't ask me again," she plead.

"Do you suppose Cody begged not to be hurt?" he softly asked.

"It won't change anything if you know who it was," she pointed out.

"He can be charged."

"No he can't, it's too late for that." 

Matt sighed, he knew she was right, by now the statute of limitations would've ran out. "There's other ways to get justice," he growled into the growing silence.

"One more reason not to tell you."

"It's not me you're trying to protect Mom, it's him. Who is it? Why are you protecting the man who hurt your son?"

Jackie shook her head miserably, knowing she stood to lose both her sons if she didn't answer. She couldn't do it though, she couldn't choose between them, just like she hadn't been able to nine years earlier.

Disgusted and angry, he discovered that maybe he could turn his back on her, standing up he moved for the stairs. "When you decide your son is more important than whoever you're protecting, you call me, until then I don't want to hear from you." He stalked down the stairs, ignoring the sobs he could hear coming from above. His heart shattering, he opened the door and left his mother behind, wondering if he'd ever see her again.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Keep the muse alive, please review.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own High Moutain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Disturbing themes

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 6

Matt pulled into the parking lot of the station several hours later. After leaving his mother's, he'd driven aimlessly through the county as he tried to make sense of the changes in his world. He remembered when his parents had still been together, how happy they'd all been. It had started falling apart about the time Cody was born. Before she became pregnant with Cody, his mom had been talking about going back to school as soon as Matt was a little older. She had really been looking forward to it too, but then she'd found out she was pregnant. The closer it got to her due date, the more depressed she became and when Cody was born it only grew worse. From then on it seemed his parents did nothing but argue, about everything from what to have for dinner to moving into town. As Jackie's relationship with Jesse deteriorated, she grew closer to her oldest son.

From the beginning, Matt had been a lot like his mom. Like her, he loved being around people, enjoying their company as much as his dad preferred the company of the rivers and mountains. Matt loved the outdoors too, but as his mother talked of the friends he could have if they lived in town, he found himself wanting it as much as she did. Cody on the other hand loved the mountains as much as their father, following him around like a little shadow. Looking back on it, Matt realized that there shouldn't have been any surprise when Jackie decided to move back to Tahoe, with or without her family. He loved his whole family and it tore him apart when she left, asking him to come with her. He looked between her and his dad, unable to decide, until he saw the way Cody was clinging to their dad and the tears that shimmered in his mom's eyes. He couldn't leave her alone, it wouldn't be fair or right and dad had always told him he had to do what was right. Now it seemed he'd made the wrong choice. He couldn't help thinking that if he'd stayed with dad then Cody would never have been alone at their mom's. He would've been safe, "God, no wonder he blames me."

"Who blames you boss?"

Matt jumped at the sound of Robin's voice. He wondered when she had come outside. "Nobody," he answered her, his tone short.

"Matt I'm not trying to butt in, but if there's anything you need to talk about..." she trailed off.

He sighed, "I'm sorry Robin, I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Robin shrugged, she wasn't concerned about that, "So how can I help?"

"You can't," Matt sighed. "I appreciate the offer, but this isn't something you can help with."

Robin nodded, "The offer stands if you change your mind."

"Thanks," he responded. Opening the door, he climbed out of the truck and headed inside. "Right now you can help by telling me that somebody besides Izzy cooked supper," he teased as he opened the station door.

"I heard that," Izzy called from the kitchen doorway.

"Oh no," Matt groaned, "he did, didn't he?"

"Afraid so boss," Robin grinned. "Don't worry I made sure to get plenty of alka seltzer for dessert."

"Just for that, I shouldn't let you two have anything," Izzy threatened.

"Izzy, buddy, how many times do I have to tell you," Cutler grinned, "a threat is only good if people are afraid of it. If you really want to threaten them, tell them you'll be cooking breakfast too."

"Ha, ha, everybody's a comedian," Izzy groused as he turned back to the kitchen, mumbling complaints about being unappreciated.

Matt chuckled, glad he had come back to the station, he was feeling better already. He hadn't forgotten about the problems Cody was having, but somehow being around his friends was helping to ease the ache in his soul.

It was several hours after Matt left that Cody finally came back to the house. After crying for a long while, he'd finally ran out of tears. As he lay buried in the hay, the words his father and brother had spoken, ran through his mind. Still uncertain about Matt, he had realized that his father hadn't meant he didn't believe him. He was only reserving judgement until they could sort out what was memory and what was nightmare. Sitting down on the porch, he leaned against Jesse's leg, silently seeking comfort from the only person he'd ever been able to depend on.

Jesse laid his hand on Cody's shoulder, "Feeling any better?"

Cody wasn't sure how to answer, so he settled for a shrug. For the next several minutes he sat silently next to his dad. "Dad, what did I do wrong?"

Jesse sighed, "You didn't do anything wrong son."

"Then why did he hurt me? Why did Matt leave? Why did Mom send me away?" he fired the questions that had been racing through his mind for the past several hours.

Jesse took a deep breath, his hands clenching the arms of the chair he sat in as he struggled to get control of his anger. "I can't answer about your mother son, I'm afraid you'll have to ask her that. But I do know that whoever hurt you did it because of something wrong with him, not because of anything you did. There is nothing any child can do that would justify being abused," he firmly stated.

"What about Matt?"

"He didn't leave like you're thinking Cody," Jesse quietly began. "When your mom left it was hard for Matt to decide what to do, but in the end he couldn't stand the thought of your mother being all alone."

"That's why he left with her?"

"Yes son, he knew I'd have you, but if he stayed here too, then your mom wouldn't have anybody. I know it was hard for him to leave you behind, he loves you Cody, he always has and always will."

"But he left," Cody whimpered.

"I explained that to you," Jesse sighed.

Cody shook his head, "No, I mean today. He never even came after me, nobody did."

Jesse hung his head, his heart breaking at the misery he could hear in his son's voice. "That was my fault Cody."

Cody looked up at him, "It was?"

"Yes," Jesse confirmed. "I followed you to the barn, I could hear you up in the loft. I thought you would be embarrassed if you knew that your brother or I knew you were crying. He wanted to come out to the barn, I stopped him."

"Oh," Cody felt a little better now that he knew. "Did you tell him to leave?"

He considered lying to the boy, just this once. Mentally shaking himself, he quickly thought better of it, realizing that if Cody found out he'd lied it would only cause him more pain. "No, he said he had to get back to the station."

"I see," Cody whispered. He felt hollow inside, as though a piece of his soul had been ripped out. It hurt, god it hurt, he bit back a whimper as he instinctively wrapped his arms around himself.

Jesse frowned, he didn't like the dull resignation he heard in the boy's voice. "Cody, you know he has responsibilities, he can't just ignore them."

"I know dad, it's okay, I don't blame him." Standing up, Cody turned to go into the house, "What do you want me to start for supper?"

Jesse sighed heavily, "Why don't you peel some potatoes, I'll filet some fish." He sadly watched his youngest go into the cabin without another word. "Damn you," he cursed the nameless person who had hurt his boy. "I will find out who you are and when I do you're going to find out what pain is," he promised.

Cody went inside. With robot like movements he pulled some potatoes from the bin and started peeling them. His actions were mechanical, his mind on the past. He didn't know if he wanted to try to force the memories to the surface or if he should just wait and see if he remembered anything else. A part of him wanted to remember, to know who it was that had hurt him, but another part of him was terrified of what he would learn. Then there was his mom, how could she just turn away like that? He didn't understand it at all, a mother was supposed to protect her kids, not walk away when they were hurt. She wasn't supposed to send him away! She should've sent the man who hurt him away, so why hadn't she? Did she think he deserved what had happened? Maybe he did, maybe he had done something so bad that he needed to be punished. What if he had? What if his dad found out the details about what had happened and agreed with his mom? Cody blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling. In spite of his dad's assurances that he couldn't have deserved to be hurt, he was terrified that once he knew the details he'd change his mind. It didn't occur to Cody that when he remembered the details, it might prove his dad right. He just couldn't imagine a mother turning her back on her son like that, unless he'd done something to earn the punishment. It was apparent that Matt already believed his mother had done no wrong. How long before Jesse came to agree with him? Cody knew that was the real reason his brother had left today, it wasn't to get back to the station, it was to get away from him. Why shouldn't he? He was obviously worthless, some kind of bad seed that would never be good for anything. Cody froze. Where had that thought come from?

"Cody, are you okay son?"

Cody turned to see his dad standing at the counter, fileting knife in hand as he worked on the fish. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak out loud.

Jesse watched his youngest as he went back to peeling the potatoes, his movements jerky. "Are you sure?"

Cody nodded again.

Giving up for now, Jesse turned back to the fish, but he made sure to keep one eye on his son as he worked. He was relieved to see Cody's movements smoothing out a few minutes later. Whatever had caused him to freeze up had passed and Jesse found himself praying that it hadn't been another memory. He took comfort in the fact that whatever it was hadn't brought on another panic attack, giving him hope that it hadn't been a memory but only the boy getting lost in his thoughts. That wasn't unusual for Cody, he had been doing that all his life, it was only the recent revelations that had Jesse worrying about it. Thankfully the rest of the evening went by uneventfully. After supper, the two of them played a game of chess as they shared a bowl of popcorn before bed.

Heart wrenching, terrified screams, broke the peacefulness of the night. Jesse jumped out of bed, the sound of his running steps drowned out by Cody's screams as he hurried to his son's side. "Cody! Wake up son," he ordered, grabbing the boy's shoulders and giving him a firm shake.

Cody woke with a start, cowering away from the man who loomed over him. "No...please don't," he whimpered.

"Shhhh, it's alright son, you're safe," Jesse soothed, ignoring the stab of pain his son's whispered plea caused.

"Dad?" He saw his father begin to nod, that was all he needed as he launched himself into his father's embrace. The feel of his dad's strong arms wrapped around him, soon had him calming down, the terror of the nightmare receding in the face of his father's strength.

"Nightmare?" Jesse needlessly asked.

"Memories," Cody corrected.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Cody quietly replied. "I remember everything."

"You know who hurt you?"

Cody nodded.

"Who was it son?" Jesse gently asked.

"I can't tell you, not yet."

Jesse drew back, his confusion clear in his green eyes, "Cody?"

"Please Dad, I don't know if I can tell it all more than once and I," Cody paused, taking a deep breath, "need to talk to Mom. I need to know why she did it? I deserve to know how she could turn her back," he firmly insisted.

"You're right son, you do deserve to know," Jesse agreed. He smiled, noting the look of surprise on Cody's face. "When do you want to talk to her, and where?"

"The where is easy, her place, I don't want her here," Cody quickly replied. "I'm not too sure about the when."

"It's up to you son, I won't push you into something you're not ready for."

"Do you think Matt will be there?"

"I think your brother will insist on being there, to support you."

"You don't think he'll take her side?"

"Cody, I know Matt and your mom are close, but he's not going to take her side when she failed to protect you."

"I hope you're right Dad," Cody whispered. Feeling like a little kid, Cody moved back into his father's arms, resting his head on his shoulder. He sighed as his father's arms came around him again, his hands rubbing over his back, soothing his nerves and making him feel safe. "Dad?"

"Yeah son?"

"Could I sleep in your room tonight?"

Jesse didn't hesitate, "Of course." Standing up, he moved away from the bed and waited. Throwing his arm over Cody's shoulders, he led the boy to his room. He was reminded of when Cody was younger and would climb into his bed after a nightmare. The memories of those nights merged with the here and now, leaving him wondering again how Jackie could have ever turned her back on their son.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Disturbing themes, Child Abuse described.

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 7

Matt wanted to get back to his dad's cabin but it seemed as though the fates were conspiring against him. For the next two days the rangers were kept hopping, preventing him from getting away. Finally though they had gotten a break, the calls were slowing down and Matt dared to hope he could go see his dad and Cody. As he sat in his office, trying to determine if he could in fact leave for a few hours he heard his team calling out greetings. Standing up, he walked into the main room, surprised to see his dad and Cody standing there. "Dad, Cody, I was just thinking about coming to see you," he smiled.

"Really?" Cody couldn't keep the hopeful note from his voice.

The rangers glanced at each other, quickly picking up on the strained atmosphere between the Hawkes men. Robin tilted her head, quietly leaving the room, grabbing Jim's sleeve and pulling him along with the rest of them as she did.

"Really," Matt confirmed. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I thought you were taking Mom's side," Cody mumbled.

"I did go to talk to her, she admitted that she knows who hurt you. I'm sorry I doubted you Cody," he quietly apologized.

"So you know who it was?"

Matt shook his head, disgusted with his mother, "She wouldn't tell me."

"Have you got some time to spare son?" Jesse interrupted.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Cody's remembered everything..."

"You know who hurt you?"

"Yeah," Cody whispered

"Who was it?" Matt demanded, itching to hurt the man who had hurt his little brother.

"He hasn't said yet," Jesse answered. "That's why we're here," he continued, "your brother wants to confront your mom and he wants you to be there."

"Please Matt, I'll tell you everything when we're at Mom's," Cody plead. "I just don't think I can tell it more than once," he added.

"Of course I'll be there," Matt quickly agreed. "Are we doing this now?"

"If you have the time, yes," Jesse replied.

"I'll just let the guys know I'm leaving," Matt said, grabbing his coat. "It's finally slowed down, I think they can handle it. I'll meet you out front, okay?"

Jesse nodded, wrapping his arm around Cody's shoulders and leading him back outside.

Matt sighed, he hoped Cody was ready for this, but he had his doubts. He hadn't missed how nervous and pale his little brother was looking, or the way he wouldn't meet his eyes. Cody was a Hawkes though and one thing that could be counted on with a Hawkes was their mile wide stubborn streak. Something that could get them into trouble sometimes, but just as often would help them through the tough times. Praying that this would be one of the times when that streak was beneficial, he went out back to find the other rangers. Quickly he told them he had a family situation to take care of, put Hart in charge and went out front to meet his dad and brother. "Ready?"

"As we'll ever be," Jesse answered, keeping a supportive arm around his youngest. Leading him to Matt's Blazer, he opened the door and waited for Cody to climb in.

Matt nodded, sliding behind the wheel, he backed out of his parking space and headed for Jackie's. "You don't have to do this today if you're not ready," he assured Cody.

"I need to," Cody argued.

"You shouldn't do it before you're ready."

"Matt I'm not sure I'll ever be ready," Cody pointed out. "I'm afraid if I wait I'll never manage to do it and I want some answers. I deserve some answers," he fiercely added.

Jesse squeezed his shoulder, "You'll get your answers son. We won't leave until she gives them to you," he promised.

In just a few minutes they were pulling up in front of Jackie's place. Matt and Jesse quickly climbed out of the truck, neither of them surprised when Cody didn't follow. Jesse leaned back into the truck, "It's up to you Cody."

"Yes sir," Cody mumbled.

"Do you want to go back home?"

"Yes," Cody quickly answered. "But," he continued after taking a steadying breath, "I need to do this." Determined to confront his mom, he climbed from the truck. On shaky legs, he followed his brother to the door, grateful for his dad's supportive arm across his back.

Jackie sucked in a startled breath when she saw who was standing outside her door. "Matt, Cody, Jesse, what a nice surprise," she greeted, pasting a smile on her face.

"Can we come in?" Matt asked.

"Of course," Jackie replied, stepping aside so they could pass. Shutting the door, she leaned her head against the cool wood and took a deep breath. Bracing herself, she followed them up the stairs. "What brings you all here?"

"We need to talk Jackie," Jesse answered, from his seat next to Cody.

"Talk? About what Jess?" Having given it some thought after Matt's departure the other day, she had decided her best defense was to play the innocent.

"I think you know about what," Jesse growled.

Jackie blinked, taken aback by his accusing tone. "I don't know what the boys have told you Jesse but I'm sure it was designed to make me look bad."

"What?" Matt demanded. "Are you saying we're making stuff up?"

"No, I'm saying that Cody doesn't want to stay with me and he'll say anything to make sure he doesn't have to. Unfortunately you seem to have bought into it."

Cody gasped, "Do you really hate me that much?"

"Cody honey, I don't hate you. You're my son, I love you but you can't expect me to stand here and be accused of doing something wrong," she innocently replied.

"I'm not making this up," he snapped.

"We know you're not son," Jesse assured him. "Jackie, Matt tells me you know who hurt our son. Who was it?" he demanded, glaring at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about Jesse."

"Can it sweetheart, I'm not buying what you're selling."

"I just want to know why you let him hurt me?" Cody asked, interrupting them.

"Cody, I didn't do anything wrong. I don't know why you're saying I did," she whined.

"He used to tell me I was worthless," Cody quietly began, ignoring her protests. "He said that it was my fault you and Dad broke up. That I was so bad you couldn't stand to be around me."

Jesse wanted to pull Cody into his arms, but something told him that he would never get through this if he did. So, in spite of his desires, he settled for placing a supportive hand on his son's back as he continued with his painful testimony.

"He hardly ever punished me right after I did something, so I didn't usually know what I'd done to set him off."

"I didn't know Cody," Jackie tried again.

"I remember going to you Mom," Cody cut her off. "I hurt, he never broke anything, but the bruises always had me hurting afterwards. I think I only went to you once," he swallowed, blinking hard to keep the tears from falling. "I remember your response though, you said I should be ashamed of making up such horrible stories. Then you," he took a deep breath, "you spanked me for lying. You had to have seen the bruises, but you didn't do anything about it. Why didn't you stop him?"

"Cody, honey I'm sorry, but I honestly don't remember any of this."

"Don't remember? How can you forget your four year old son's back covered in bruises?"

"Why do you hate me so Cody?" she whimpered. "Why are you making up these horrible lies?"

"They're not lies!" he yelled, jumping to his feet. "You're the one whose lying, you let him hurt me, I'm not making it up!"

Jackie flinched, moving backward in her seat as though she thought he would hit her.

"Calm down son," Jesse soothed, pulling him down to the couch. "You're not helping yourself by being upset."

"Dad's right Cody," Matt agreed, rubbing his brother's back.

Cody nodded, hanging his head as he tried to regain control of his emotions.

"Do you want to take a break Cody?" Matt quietly asked. He wasn't surprised when Cody nodded, he was a little surprised though, when he leaned against him. Silently he thanked God that Cody was trusting him again and in that instant he knew he'd made the right choice in standing behind his brother and not his mom. "I'm gonna take Cody outside, we'll be back in a few minutes," he informed his parents as he pulled Cody to his feet.

"Jesse you don't believe this do you?" Jackie asked as soon as the boys had left.

"Of course I do," Jesse snapped. "I can't believe you'd even ask me that," he growled. Pushing himself to his feet, he began to pace the room. He'd always known Jackie had problems with Cody, but he'd never thought she'd go this far. Even with Cody saying she knew about the abuse he'd received, he had hoped that the boy was mistaken. He had prayed that he was confusing dreams with reality, after all he'd been so young when it happened. Then Matt had told them what she said when he confronted her, confirming Cody's memories. As Jackie spoke, she only added further confirmation.

Jackie stepped closer, laying one hand on his arm. "He's confused Jesse, I would never let him be hurt," she tried again, her voice soft.

Jesse shot her a disbelieving look, "As Shakespeare said, me thinks the lady doth protest too much. He's not confused, I had hoped he was, but he's not. Is he?" he demanded, roughly grabbing her arm.

"Jesse let go, you're hurting me," she whined, tugging against his hold.

"Wouldn't want that, would we?" letting go of her. Disgusted by her, he quickly stalked away, moving to stare out the window at the boys.

"Coming here was a mistake," Matt said as soon as they were outside.

"No it wasn't, I can handle it," Cody insisted.

"Cody, look at what it's doing to you." Pulling him close, he moved his brother to the truck, needing some distance from his mother. "I don't want you to be hurt anymore by this. Please Code, let's just go to Dad's, you can tell us who hurt you and we'll make sure he pays, I promise."

"It's too late for that Matt, they won't do anything to him, it's been too long."

"You don't know that Cody, maybe it hasn't been."

"I need to do this Matt, but I don't know if I'm strong enough," he whispered.

"She's not going to admit anything," Matt tried to argue. It was hurting him so much to watch what this confrontation was doing to Cody, he just wanted to spare him. "I'm sorry I didn't know about it then, if I had..."

"No, it's not your fault Matt, I know that now. You were just a kid yourself, there wasn't anyway for you to know." An overwhelming need for comfort had him twisting into his brother's side, leaning heavily against him as Matt's strong arms wrapped around him. "Help me Matt, I'm not strong enough," he whimpered.

"I'll help you all I can," Matt whispered, holding him tightly. "You can have as much of my strength as you need, and if mine isn't enough I know Dad will give you his strength as well."

"Thank you, thank you," Cody whispered, clinging to his brother for all he was worth. "Ready to go back inside?"

"Whenever you are," Matt replied. "We're doing this at your pace little brother."

"Thanks." For several more minutes the two brothers stayed as they were, the younger soaking up the strength the older one freely offered. Finally pulling away, Cody looked up at Matt and squared his shoulders, "I'm ready."

Jackie looked up as her sons came back up the stairs, quickly looking away when she caught the look in Matt's eyes.

Jesse stepped over to his son's side, "You okay boy?" 

"No, but I'm better. Can we sit down?"

"Of course," Jesse quickly replied, leading both boys to the couch. He didn't miss the fact that Matt's arm never left Cody's shoulder as they took their places, Cody ensconced between them.

"I've had enough of this, I want you to leave, all of you," Jackie ordered.

"We're not done and you owe me answers," Cody quietly said.

"How long did this go on Cody?" Jesse asked.

"It started, as far as I can remember, the first summer I came to visit her and Matt after she left."

"So you were three?"

"Yeah, it stopped when I was six."

"That was the last summer you stayed with your mom," Jesse quietly spoke.

"It was," Cody confirmed. "It was the worst too. I guess Matt being here is what stopped him from doing what he did that summer, or maybe I just wasn't old enough before that. Which was it Mom?"

Matt and Jesse glanced at each other, their eyes reflecting the same horrible suspicion. "Cody, what are you talking about?" Matt finally asked when it became apparrent that his mother wouldn't answer.

"He had been hitting me all along, but that summer," Cody shuddered. "That summer it changed and she let him get away with it. I know he's your brother Mom, but how could you let Uncle Roy do that to me?"

Jackie glared at him, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you do," Cody countered. "I saw you Mom. He came to my room, just like he'd been doing since Matt left. He took my clothes off and he hhhurt me," Cody whimpered.

"Oh God," Matt groaned, holding Cody close.

"He molested you?" Jesse had to ask, though he knew the answer.

"She watched, I saw her in the doorway and I thought it would finally stop. I thought she would make him stop, but she didn't, she just turned around and walked away." He shook, the memories overwhelming him. "Don't leave mommy, please I'll be good, make him stop, please make him stop," he whimpered, trapped in the memories of that horrible night.

"Shhhh, it's okay Cody, you're safe now, he can't hurt you again," Matt soothed.

"You bitch," Jesse growled. Jumping to his feet, he stalked to her. Grabbing her arms, he jerked her to her feet. "How could you let that man hurt our son? Why didn't you protect him?"

Jackie stared at him in shock, glancing between him and their boys she realized that the time for denial was past. "He's my brother, I couldn't turn him in."

"Cody is your son, he should've come first."

"I did what I could to protect him," she defended herself. "I sent him back to you the next day and I never had him come back unless Matt was here and never when Roy was here."

"How many time did Roy beat him before that? How many times did he molest him?" Jesse growled, barely controlling the urge to strangle her.

"He's exagerating Jesse," she whined. "Roy only put bruises on him once, and it was an accident. The other, Cody doesn't remember everything from that night."

"What doesn't he remember?"

"I came home early and I saw what Roy was doing to him," she finally admitted. "I suppose it would've looked to Cody like I left, but I didn't. I went back to the front door and shut it hard, I thought that would be better than getting into a fight with Roy in front of Cody. Within seconds Roy was out of the bedroom and I confronted him about what he'd done."

"But you didn't make him leave, or call the police," Jesse accused. "Instead you sent a defenseless child away and let the man who hurt him get away with it. What the hell do you think that boy must've thought when you did that?"

"I wasn't thinking about that, all I could think of was protecting Cody and Roy."

"Roy didn't deserve your protection," Jesse growled. "Look at your son Jackie," he snarled, moving aside so her view wasn't blocked. He winced at the sight of Cody wrapped in Matt's arms, sobbing, still swearing he would be good and begging his mother to stop his uncle. "You see what you've done to him, how could you do that?"

"I didn't mean to hurt him Jesse, I love him."

"Do you?" Jesse demanded. Leaning closer, he put his mouth next to her ear, "You never wanted him, is that why you let Roy get away with it?"

Jackie paled, her face quickly regaining color and reddening with anger. "How dare you?"

"How dare I?" Jesse repeated. "You say you love him, prove it."

"How?" she nervously asked.

"Tell me where to find your brother and testify against him."

"No, I can't. You can't ask me to choose between them."

"I shouldn't have to ask," he growled. Disgusted with her, he shoved her into the chair he'd pulled her from. Returning to his sons, he sat down next to Cody. "Cody, son, let's get out of here, okay?" he quietly asked.

"I'll be good, please don't send me away."

"Shhh, nobody is sending you away," Jesse soothed, Matt echoing his words. "Matt, can you open the door?"

"Yeah," Matt replied, not sure what his dad had in mind.

"Good," Jesse said. Scooping Cody into his arms, he carried him down the stairs, as if he were again six years old. Glaring at Jackie, he silently promised her swift and terrible retribution if she did anything to hurt Cody again. The alpha wolf in him howled victory when she cowered away from him, dropping her eyes in shame as they passed by her.

"Where are we going Dad?" Matt asked as he opened the door for him.

Jesse glanced at Cody, still mumbling promises to be good and pleas for help. "The hospital," he reluctantly answered.

"Yes sir," Matt sadly acknowledged as he helped Jesse get Cody settled in the truck. Climbing behind the wheel, he barely waited for Jesse to fasten his seatbelt before speeding away from the scene of his brother's greatest nightmare. As he drove, he prayed that the doctors at the hospital would be able to help Cody find his way back to them.

TBC.

Sorry it took so long for the reveal, hope y'all liked the chapter. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Disturbing Themes

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 8

Matt sat on the edge of Cody's hospital bed, gently combing his fingers through his little brother's hair. "Come back to us Cody, please," he plead with tears in his eyes. The sound of the door opening had him jumping to his feet, placing himself between his brother and any possible threat. "Dad," he whispered, instantly relaxing his guard.

"Any change?" Jesse asked, his eyes glued to his youngest.

Matt looked back at his brother, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. "No sir, he just keeps mumbling and staring at the ceiling. I don't understand this Dad. Why is he in such bad shape over something that happened so long ago? Why didn't he react like this at the time?"

"That's what I just got through talking to the doctor about, he says it's basically a delayed reaction."

"A delayed reaction?" Matt snapped. He jerked away when his father's hand landed on his shoulder, taking a step towards his brother, he quickly detoured to stare out the window.

"Matthew?" Jesse watched him, confused by his reaction and more than a little bit concerned.

"That's not a delayed reaction Dad," he pointed to Cody. "That's a full blown meltdown. How could Uncle Roy do that to him? Why didn't Mom stop him sooner? Why didn't Cody tell you what was happening back then?"

In three strides, Jesse was at Matt's side, pulling him in for a comforting hug. "I don't know son, I wish I did. You missed a question," he reluctantly pointed out, " why didn't I see there was a problem?"

Matt sniffled, "Isn't your fault," he murmured against his father's neck. Straightening up, he looked across the room to the wounded form of his brother. "I wish it was a broken bone," he whispered. Mortified, he glanced at his father, expecting to see condemnation in his eyes. To his surprise he saw veiled amusement.

"It'd be a lot easier to deal with, wouldn't it?"

"Yes sir. I don't know how to help him with this, it's like a wound on his soul, how do we fix that?"

Jesse sighed, sometimes he wished the boys didn't have so much faith in him. "With time and love," was his simple answer.

"You make it sound so easy."

"Not easy, but it's the best answer I have."

"Delayed reaction?" Matt whispered.

Jesse nodded. "The doctor said the reason it's so bad is because he never dealt with it at the time. He just locked it away, so deep that he even managed to forget it had ever happened. Now that the memories are coming out," Jesse shrugged, "he's experiencing the reaction he would've then, but magnified by the delay in dealing with it."

"You're saying if he had dealt with it at the time it wouldn't have been this bad?"

"That's what the doctor seems to think."

"What do you think?" Matt asked. He trusted his dad's opinion a hell of a lot more than he trusted some doctor who didn't even know Cody.

Jesse turned away, walking back to the bed, he ran his fingers through Cody's hair. "I think he may be right. It wouldn't have been easy then, but it might've been easier." He glanced over his shoulder at Matt, seeing that he still wasn't convinced. "You've had splinters before?"

"Yes sir," Matt confirmed. He wondered why his dad was asking something he already knew the answer to, and what it had to do with Cody.

"Think of it like that, if you pluck a splinter out right away, it hurts, but it doesn't take long to get over. Leave it though, let it dig deeper and it'll fester. Then when it finally works its way out, you'll be sore for a while."

Matt nodded, understanding what his dad was getting at now. "You got any ideas on how to get him back?"

"Keep talking to him, that's what the doctor suggested. I can't think of anything else at the moment. You've been here for a while, why don't you go get something to eat. You can talk to him again when you get back," Jesse suggested.

Matt wanted to argue, wanted to stay here with Cody, but he could see his dad needed some time alone with his brother. Reluctantly he nodded, "Want me to bring you anything?"

"No thanks son, I'll get something later."

"Okay, I'll be back in a while."

Jesse grabbed the bedside chair, pulling it closer to the bed. Sinking into it, he picked up Cody's hand. Absently he rubbed his thumb over the back of his boy's hand as he spoke. He didn't hold back, made no attempt to hide his worry and pain, hoping that if his words didn't bring Cody back to them, his tone would. "I'm so sorry I didn't see what was happening son. I should've spotted it, should've known that you were being hurt. I knew there were problems, especially after that first summer, when you never wanted to go back. I told myself that it was just because you weren't used to being in town, around so many people. It never occurred to me that you were being hurt. Some cop, huh? I wish you'd come back to us son, it hurts more than I can tell you to see you like this. It's hurting your brother too, he loves you as much as I do." He ran his hand over the boy's back, rubbing gently. "You can come back Cody, you're safe, nobody is going to hurt you again." Jesse's head dropped to the mattress as the tears began to fall. Silently he prayed for guidance, prayed for the words that would reach his son and bring him back to them. "You're breaking our hearts son, we need you. Bet you didn't know that, did you? It's true, your brother and I need you like we need the air we breathe."

Matt couldn't deny it was a relief to get out of Cody's room for a little while. It hurt so much to see him like that and when he wasn't hurting he was fighting the fury that threatened to take control. Each time his brother mumbled his promises to be good, he wanted to hit his mother. Each plea for mercy had him wanting to track his uncle down so he could kill him, as slowly as possible. He couldn't decide which one he was more furious with. There was one thing he was sure of, he would never forgive his mother for her failure to protect his little brother.

"Hey handsome, mind if I join you?"

Matt looked up and for the first time since leaving his mother's a smile crossed his face. "What are you doing here?"

"Nice," Robin retorted. "So warm and welcoming," she teased as she slid into the seat across from him.

He dropped his head, his happiness at seeing her quickly slid away, "Sorry."

"Hey," Robin called, taking his hand in her's, "I was just teasing. Want to talk about it?"

Matt shook his head in the negative. "How'd you know I was here?"

"My friend Tracey called me, she said Cody had been admitted."

"Did she tell you why?" he demanded.

"Of course not," Robin immediately denied. "She just thought you could use a friend," she quietly added. "Looks like she was right."

"We're losing him," he whispered brokenly.

Robin gasped, she'd had no idea it was that serious. "What happened?"

He opened his mouth, intending to answer when Cody's eyes flashed through his mind. "I don't think I can tell you."

"It might help," she encouraged him. "Please let me help Matt."

He looked into her blue eyes and suddenly he was pouring his heart out. "He was hurt Robin, a long time ago and we didn't know. Damn it! How could we have not seen? He hid it from us, hid it from himself too. Now he's remembering, all of it. We're going to lose him, I don't think my dad will survive if Cody doesn't come back to us. I can't survive," he confessed, unaware of the tears that streaked his cheeks.

Robin stared at him in shock. Cody hurt? A long time ago? It didn't make sense. She needed answers and decided to start at the beginning. "Matt, what do you mean hurt?" she gently questioned.

Matt swallowed hard, his mouth formed the word but nothing would come out. Licking his lips, he tried again, it wasn't until the fourth try that he finally managed to whisper the word, "Abused."

"Cody?" she questioned. Her anger rose, quickly turning to fury, "Who?" she demanded.

Matt smiled, he should've known that Robin would react like this. From the moment she'd met him, the blonde beauty had adopted his little brother as her own. He almost felt sorry for his uncle and mother, Robin didn't hold anything back when you hurt one of her's. She was a lot like a mother lion that way. "Our uncle, Mom's brother."

Robin bristled, she should have known it was connected to Jackie. "Did she know?" She waited impaitiently for him to answer, "Come on Matt, it's a simple question."

"She knew," he spit out.

"That bitch," Robin growled. "I'm sorry Matt, I know she's your mother but..."

"No, it's okay," he cut her off. "She should've had that bastard arrested. Instead she sent Cody back to Dad's and never had him visit when Roy was there."

"Stupid, didn't she think of how it would make Cody feel?"

He snorted derisively, "Apparently not."

"How did he end up here?"

"He's been having panic attacks, the memories have been coming back I guess. He finally remembered everything."

"That's why he and your dad came to the station this morning?"

"Yeah, he wanted to confront Mom, get some answers. It didn't go well," he needlessly added.

"No shit," Robin snapped. Seeing the hurt look cross his face, she was immediately contrite. "Sorry, what happened?"

Matt sighed, he didn't blame her for snapping, it was obvious it hadn't gone well. "She tried to deny it at first, it wasn't until he broke down that she finally admitted to knowing. Though she claims she didn't know until the last time and that was when she sent him back to my dad's."

"Do you believe her?"

"Hell no," he quickly answered. "Doesn't matter right now, Cody's all that matters and he's lost."

"Lost?"

"He broke down Robin, started talking like he was six years old again. Begging her to stop him, promising to be good if she didn't send him away. He's upstairs now, staring at the ceiling and mumbling those same words over and over."

Robin could feel the tears sliding down her face, a perfect match for the ones on Matt's cheeks. "That's what you meant by losing him?"

"Yeah."

"What did the doctor say?"

Matt bit back the first reply that came to mind, still angry over the lack of help the doctor had offered, "Not much. He says that the memories have been buried so deep that now they're coming to the surface it's worse than it would've been if he'd dealt with it then."

"He was only a little boy, how could he have dealt with it?"

"He could've told me, or dad. We would've protected him." He looked at her, his eyes filled with bewildered misery. "Why? Why didn't he let us protect him?"

"I don't know, but I'd bet he had a reason."

"I guess," Matt sullenly agreed.

Robin sighed, "He was just a little boy Matt, try to remember that."

With those words, Matt suddenly felt about an inch high. "I'm being an ass, aren't I?"

"Just a little, but I guess you can be excused this once," she teased. "Did the doctor have any ideas for bringing Cody out of it?"

"No, but Dad thinks maybe talking to him will help. Keep telling him it's safe to come back to us."

"Is that where your dad is now?"

"Yeah, he sent me to get something to eat."

Robin looked pointedly at the empty table in front of him, "What do you want?"

"My brother back."

"I wish I could get you that," she whispered. "I can get you something to eat though, so what will it be?"

"I'm not hungry," he mumbled. He didn't know how she could expect him to think about food while his little brother lay upstairs lost in a terror filled past.

"I know you're not, but you need to eat." She hated to do it, but if he wasn't going to make any effort she would have to make him, even if it meant laying guilt on him. "Matt, you're not going to help Cody any by not eating." Nothing. "How do you think he'll feel if you get sick because of all this?"

"You don't play fair," he accused.

"When it comes to taking care of my friends? No I don't," she confirmed with a grim smile. "Now, since you won't tell me what you want I'll have to make the decision for you. I'll be right back," she informed him as she pushed herself to her feet.

Matt watched her go, a sad smile playing over his face. He wondered what was wrong with his mother? It seemed as though that natural thoughtfulness and caring Robin found so easy, had skipped her, especially where her youngest was concerned. Though it angered and hurt him, he knew deep in his heart that if it Roy had abused him she would've sent him to jail at the very least. He didn't understand why she wasn't as quick to protect Cody. Had Roy been telling the truth when he told Cody that his mom hadn't wanted him? Was his brother the reason his parents had broke up? No! Even if his mom left because she didn't want Cody, that wasn't his brother's fault.

"Here ya go," Robin announced brightly, setting a tray in front of him.

"Thanks Robin," he smiled.

"You're welcome, now eat."

He picked up the sandwich first, "Yes ma'am." With the first bite he suddenly realized how hungry he was, quickly devouring the meal.

"Good thing you weren't hungry," she teased.

Matt blushed, smiling sheepishly. "Didn't think I was," he defended.

"You ready to go back upstairs?" she asked when he was finished.

"No, but I want to be there for Cody."

"Want some company?"

Standing up, he smiled, "Please."

"My pleasure," she softly smiled, taking his arm and heading for the elevator.

Jesse looked up when the door opened, smiling when he saw who was with Matt. "Robin," he greeted, kissing her cheek. "Thank you for coming."

Robin blushed, "Where else would I be?" brushing aside his thanks. "Um, Matt told me what was going on, of course I had to drag it out of him," she quickly added.

"You don't have to cover for him Robin," Jesse assured her. "I know what it's like to need somebody to talk to." Though he spoke to Robin, he was looking at Matt, hoping the boy would realize he wasn't angry.

Matt couldn't help being relieved, he'd been afraid his dad would be upset that he had told Robin what was happening, after all it was personal. "Any change?" Matt asked.

"No son, I've been talking to him since you left, he hasn't even responded."

Matt wasn't surprised, he'd known the answer the moment he'd walked into the room, but he'd had to ask. "Why don't you go get something to eat Dad, we'll stay with Cody."

Jesse glanced at his youngest, his heart breaking a little more each time he looked at him. "I think I will. You send Robin to get me if there's any change," he gruffly ordered.

"Yes sir."

Robin drifted to the window, giving Matt a semblance of privacy as he began to speak to his little brother. She couldn't help the silent tears that ran down her face as the blond begged his brother to come back to them. With each word she fought the urge to find Jackie Hawkes and beat her to a pulp. An hour passed, with no change in the youngest member of the Hawkes family. She wracked her brain, trying to come up with some way to help them bring him back. She turned around when Jesse returned, absently she watched him talking to Matt, not really listening as she took in the sterile coldness of the room.

"Dad you can't let them do that!"

Matt's protest brought her attention back to the two men standing next to Cody's bed. Wondering what was going on, she soon had her answer. She listened in horrified silence as Jesse told Matt of the doctor's request. She agreed with Matt, there was no way locking him in a psych ward was going to help.

"I don't like it either Matt, but I don't know what to do for him," Jesse reluctantly admitted.

"We'll lose him forever if you let them put him in a place like that," Matt argued.

"Take him home," Robin quietly suggested.

"What?" Matt asked.

"He's lost because he's afraid, where does he feel safest?"

"Home," Matt whispered. "She's right Dad, that's the best way to get him back."

Jesse nodded, surprised he hadn't seen it for himself. "I'll go talk to the doctor, get him discharged. Can you get him dressed son?"

"Yes sir," Matt grinned. It finally felt like they were doing something that could really help Cody.

"I'll just wait outside," Robin mumbled, quickly exiting the room. It didn't take long for Jesse to return with the paperwork, by which time Matt had Cody dressed and ready to go. Robin walked out of the hospital with them, one hand on Cody's shoulder as his father wheeled him to the door. "I'll go back to the station and tell the guys you'll be off for the next few days, unless there's a major emergency."

"Thanks Robin, I appreciate it," Matt smiled. He watched her go, leaving him to stay with Cody while his dad brought the truck up to the entrance. Soon they had Cody settled in the seat between them and were headed for the mountains, both praying that this would bring him back to them.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own the High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Child Abuse

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 9

He supposed he had expected Cody to come back to them as soon as they walked through the front door of the cabin. He was destined to be disappointed. Matt couldn't believe it had been two days since they'd brought Cody home from the hospital and his brother was still locked in the past. He had wanted to stay at the cabin, wanted to be there when his younger brother came back to them. However, the morning after they brought him home the station had radioed, needing his help as the day was already shaping up to be a busy one. There were times when he wished he was just another one of the guys. What he wouldn't give to be free to ask for some time off without having to worry about the station and the Rangers. As Commander he couldn't do that, no matter how much he might like to.

So with a heavy heart, he had left his dad's and headed back down the mountain. Now here he was, stuck at the station when his brother needed him the most. He knew the guys were talking about him, had been pumping Robin for information. It hadn't done them any good of course, that girl could give a mule lessons in stubbornness if she wanted to. A fact he was grateful for, though he was sure the next time she was being stubborn about something he might not be so glad for that streak of mule. Matt looked up as the station door swung open; jumping to his feet he reached the visitor's side in a few angry strides. "Get out," he growled, just barely restraining himself from decking him. Only the thought of going to jail, of not being there for Cody, stopped him.

"Is that anyway to talk to your uncle?" Roy smirked.

"You're not my uncle, not anymore."

"I just want to talk to you Matt," the older man tried again.

Matt stared at him for a full minute, he couldn't believe the nerve of the man. "Well I don't want to talk to you," he snapped, turning to walk away.

Roy frowned, he'd known it wouldn't be easy, but he'd always been close to Matt, allowing him to hope he'd at least listen. "Look, I'm going to have my say," he vowed. "The only question is do I get that say here in front of everybody, or do we go somewhere private?"

Matt froze in his tracks, glancing around the room at the openly curious faces of his Rangers. Damn, he was going to have to listen to him. "My office," he barked over his shoulder. "Robin..."

"I'll take care of it Matt," the blonde quickly assured him. She glared at Jackie's brother as he passed her in route to Matt's office. The moment the door closed behind the two men, she was surrounded by the others as they threw questions at her.

"What's going on here Robin? Is he really Matt's uncle? Why doesn't he want to talk to him?"

"The only question I can answer is, yes, he really is Matt's uncle. Now," she continued, holding up her hand for silence, "you all have things to do, so go."

"I don't," Jim declared, plopping down on the couch.

"Then find something, outside."

"You're not in charge Robin."

"Didn't you hear Matt just now? What do you think he wanted me to take care of?" She sighed when the only response she got was an indifferent shrug of the shoulders. "You Jim, all of you," she looked around at the others. "He needs to talk to his uncle without worrying about any of you overhearing. You say you're his friends, so prove it," she challenged them. To his credit, Jim blushed as a feeling of shame washed over him. Without another word, he stood up and led the others out the back door. Robin smiled grimly and with one last look at the closed office door she sat down at the radio; somebody had to take care of the phones and radio.

"What do you want?" Matt demanded as soon as the door closed.

"Your mother told me what happened..."

"I hope you're not going to tell me that it's not true."

Roy sighed, "I won't deny I spanked the boy when he needed it, but not the other stuff. I'm not a pervert," Roy denied.

"You don't consider molesting a six year old perverted?" Matt growled.

"I didn't..."

"Save it," Matt cut him off again. "Do you really think my dad is stupid? He had Cody checked while we were at the hospital," he informed him, a smile of satisfaction crossing his face as his uncle paled beneath his tan. "They found scar tissue, but then you knew they would, didn't you? How could you rape a defenseless child?"

"I never raped him, I don't care what he says."

"Still going to deny it?"

"Damn right I'm denying it!" Roy was, by all standards, a despicable man, but he wasn't stupid. There was no way he was going to admit to a crime that could send him to prison for the next fifteen years. Besides, it wasn't rape if he'd only used his fingers.

"You son of a bitch," Matt snarled, his hand curling into a fist.

"Go ahead boy, hit me if you think you're man enough," Roy taunted.

Matt's hand itched to strike his uncle's smug face, sending him to the floor. God, he wanted to make the man cower, just like Cody had probably cowered all those years ago. He was fighting a losing battle and he knew it, just as he was about to give in to the urge there was a knock on the door and it swung open.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Matt," Robin apologized.

"What is it Robin?" Matt asked in an abrupt manner that was nothing like him.

Robin sighed, it was obvious his uncle had upset him, she only hoped he'd be able to keep his mind on the job. "McBride called, there's been an accident, a ten car pile-up. A couple of the cars went off the mountain, they need all the bodies they can get."

Matt nodded, "Get everybody together, I'll be out in a minute." Staring hard at his uncle, he didn't spare any consideration as he ordered him from the premises. "Roy," he called as the man headed for the door, "don't come back." The moment the door closed behind his uncle, Matt hurried outside to the truck, radioing his father on the way, he gave him a heads up about Roy's presence. Although he didn't really think the man would be stupid enough to go up to the cabin, even if he could find it, he wasn't taking any chances.

Jesse ran a hand through his hair, Roy's presence in Tahoe was making him wonder just how truthful Jackie had been. "Damn her," he quietly cursed. A part of him wanted to go after Roy, track him down and dispense a little mountain justice. Heaving a frustrated sigh, he walked over to the couch where Cody lay, sitting down on the edge of it. "Cody, son please come back to me," he plead, not for the first time. "You're safe here boy, it's just you and me, nobody here to hurt you," he quietly assured. Unlike Matt, he hadn't expected Cody to just wake up as soon as he came home, but he hadn't thought he'd still be lost to them two days later.

He could hear a voice, it was a voice he trusted but why couldn't he see him? As he looked around him, all he could see was a dense fog and there was something there. Something was in the fog, it wanted to hurt him. He didn't understand why it did, only that it did. Wait, there was the voice again. Where was it coming from? He spun around, desperately trying to see through the fog. Suddenly the fog began to thin, as it did he realized the voice was his dad. No wonder he felt safe, but he wouldn't really be safe until he found him. He started to walk through the fog, willing it to thin so he could find his dad. There! He could almost see him through the fog. That's strange, he thought, his dad was sitting next to him in their living room, how did a fog that thick seep into their home? It didn't make any sense. "Dad?" whispers, his throat dry and sore. Cody grunted as the air was suddenly forced from his lungs, his father's arms coming around him in a bear hug.

"Cody!" Jesse cried out, pulling his son into his arms and holding him tight. "Thank God," he whispered.

"Da..." Cody tried again, only to be forced to a halt by the dryness of his throat.

"You stay right here, I'll get you a glass of water," Jesse ordered, realizing what the problem was. He kept his eyes glued to his son, until the wall came between them. As if he were afraid the boy would sink back into the state he'd been in, Jesse hurried back with a glass of water in record time. "Here ya are son," he said as he sat down again and helped the boy to sip the water. "Better?"

"Yeah," Cody spoke in his usual soft voice. "Dad, weren't we at Mom's?" he asked, glancing around the room in confusion.

Jesse sighed, "We were, do you remember why?" he cautiously asked.

Cody thought back to the last thing he could clearly remember, his face paling as the scene at his mother's came back to him. "She tried to act like I was making it up," he whispered.

"What else do you remember?"

"I..." Cody shook his head, "I'm not sure." He admitted, upset by his inability to remember.

"It's okay son," Jesse soothed.

"Dad, how did I get home?"

"I brought you home."

"Why don't I remember it?" Cody asked in a voice that shook with fear. "Did I have another panic attack?"

"No son, not exactly," Jesse hedged. "Look, why don't you have something to eat? We can talk after you eat."

Cody eyed his father suspiciously, "What aren't you telling me?"

He sighed, he'd taught the boy how to read signs too well it seemed. "You were overwhelmed by the memories," he finally replied.

"What's that mean?"

"You weren't talking to us, you were trapped in the past and we didn't know if we'd ever get you back."

Cody stared at his father, hesitantly, he asked the question he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to. "How long have I been like that?"

"Two and a half days," Jesse reluctantly replied.

"What?" Cody cried out.

"Settle down," Jesse calmly instructed, his hand on the boy's shoulder. "The doctor said it hit you so hard because you had buried the memories for so long."

"Wish they'd stayed buried," he mumbled.

"I know son, but it's better that they didn't."

Cody shot him a disbelieving look, "How can it be better?"

"Well as bad as this was, can you imagine how much worse it would've been ten years down the road?"

Cody sighed, quickly seeing that his dad was right. "Is Mom still denying it?"

Jesse shook his head, "She said she sent you back to me to protect you from Roy."

He could tell by his father's tone that he didn't fully believe her. Cody could understand that, he didn't believe her either.

"Cody, why didn't you tell me or your brother back then?"

"I don't know," Cody replied. He didn't like lying to his dad, but he was mad enough already, he couldn't tell him the real reason he'd kept quiet. Then there was Matt, if he knew the truth it would tear him apart.

Jesse didn't believe him, but he worried that if he pushed the boy he'd retreat back into his mind. "There's something else you need to know son," he reluctantly began. "Your brother called a little while ago, Roy's in town."

"No! He knows I told doesn't he?" He didn't need to wait for his father's answer, he could tell by the look on his face that Roy knew. "We have to find him, it's all my fault," he rambled as he swung his feet to the floor.

"Slow down son," Jesse tried to calm him, shifting to hold him in place. "Roy isn't going to hurt you again, you don't have to be scared."

Cody struggled to break his father's hold, "You don't understand, he's gonna kill him! We have to keep him safe, please Dad we have to find Matt."

It took a minute for Jesse to process his son's words, a moment more to recognize the significance of them. It hit him with sickening clarity, the reason why Cody had never told him what Roy had done to him. "He threatened to kill Matt if you told, didn't he?"

Cody nodded miserably, "I didn't mean to tell! I swear I didn't mean it, please don't let him hurt Matt. Tell him I won't tell anybody else, I'll say I made it up, just don't let him hurt Matt." Cody plead with his father as the panic welled up inside him, threatening to drown him in its wake.

"Shhh, it's okay son," Jesse soothed, drawing Cody into his arms. "Matt's safe and so are you."

"No he's not, Roy's gonna kill him cause I told."

"Cody..."

"No," Cody snapped, jerking away from his dad. "Don't tell me he won't do it, he will. You weren't there. You don't know the things he said. You didn't see his face. You didn't hear his voice. He meant it, oh God, what was I thinking?" Miserably he wrapped his arms around himself.

"You were thinking you were safe," Jesse soothed. "Look son, would it make you feel better if I had Matt come up after work?"

"Can't he come up now?"

Jesse shook his head, "He's working a ten car pile-up with the other rangers and the sheriff's office, he's safe where he is. I promise, okay?"

Cody looked into his father's eyes, searching for any sign of deception. He sagged with relief, when he saw none. "Okay, and you'll ask him to come up when he's done?"

"I'll try him on the radio right now," Jesse replied. Pushing himself to his feet, he walked over to the radio. As he depressed the button, he silently prayed that Matt would be able to answer. Within seconds his prayer was answered as the voice of his oldest came over the airwaves. Avoiding any details, he quickly elicited a promise from Matt that he would come to the cabin as soon as they were done working the accident. He turned back to his youngest, walking back to the couch in a few easy strides. "He'll be here as soon as he's done with the accident. You want something to eat while we're waiting?"

Cody offered his dad a small smile, "Thanks, maybe a little soup?"

"You got it, come on and keep me company while I fix it?"

"Sure," Cody easily agreed. Rising to his feet, he leaned against his dad as they walked to the kitchen. As he watched his dad fixing the soup, he kept his attention focused outside, hoping to hear the sound of Matt's truck. It would only be when his family was together that he would start to feel safe again.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please review, the muse is hungry.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, disturbing themes, violence

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 10

It hadn't been easy, but somehow Matt had managed to keep his mind on the wreck, in spite of his dad's call. Finally though it was over, three people were dead, four others in critical condition, a dozen more with minor injuries. Now all that was left was the clean-up, something the others could easily handle on their own. Not even taking the time to change clothes, Matt jumped into his truck and headed for his dad's, wondering the whole time what could've happened, praying it was nothing bad.

Cody lay on the couch again, the warm soup had left him feeling relaxed and sleepy, in spite of his worry for his brother. The sound of an engine jerked him fully awake. Abruptly, he sat up, looking frantically around the room for his father.

"Cody," Jesse quietly called in order not to startle him.

Cody sagged with relief, "Somebody's here," he nervously told his dad.

Jesse nodded, and looked out the window, a smile crossing his face. "It's Matt," he informed his youngest just as the door opened, admitting his oldest to the cabin.

"Matt!" Cody cried out, relieved to see his brother.

Matt's eyes widened as a grin blossomed on his handsome face; his brother was back! Turning towards his little brother, he quickly closed the distance between them. Coming to a sudden stop, he watched Cody with concern as fear entered his eyes and his face paled. "Cody? What is it?" he quietly asked, taking a step closer.

Cody wore a grin to match his brother's, the grin quickly fading as he took in Matt's blood stained clothes. "Wh...what did he do to you?" he stuttered.

Matt glanced between his father and brother, confused by the question. "Who?"

"Uuncle Rrroy, I'm sorry Matt I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I never should've told, I'm so sorry, you're okay aren't you? Please say you're not hurt bad, but there's so much blood, you must be. Why aren't you at the hospital?" Cody bombarded his brother with questions, his fear growing, threatening to overwhelm him.

"I'm not hurt Cody, this isn't my blood," Matt quickly assured him, deciding he should address his brother's fear first.

"It's not?"

"No," he calmly replied, taking Cody's arm and lowering him back to the couch. "I just came from working an accident scene. I wanted to find out what Dad wanted, so I didn't take the time to change," he explained. "Hey, what's going on?" his arms automatically coming around his brother who had suddenly decided to bury his face in his chest.

"Roy told him he'd kill you if Cody ever told anybody what he'd done," Jesse explained, his voice tight with anger.

Matt's hold tightened protectively, "I'm so sorry he did that to you little brother. I wish I'd never gone away that summer," he sighed.

"No, I was wrong to blame you," Cody mumbled. "It wasn't your fault, you were just a kid, ya didn't know."

Matt looked over Cody's head at his father, his eyes shimmering suspiciously, "We have to make sure he pays for what he did to Cody."

Jesse nodded, he just hoped that Cody could handle what would be coming. "McBride came up yesterday," he quietly told them.

"That explains why he kept giving me strange looks at the accident site."

Cody pulled away from Matt to stare at his father, "You told him?"

"I had to son, I needed to know what, if anything could be done to Roy."

Cody licked suddenly dry lips, "You mean like having him arrested?"

Jesse sat down on the couch, his hand coming up to grasp the back of Cody's neck in a comforting gesture. "He said it's not too late, but it's up to you son."

Cody looked from Jesse to Matt and back again, "You want me to do it, don't you?"

"I won't pretend I don't want to see that man behind bars for what he did to you, but I won't ask you to do something you don't think you can," Jesse assured him.

"What about you?" Cody asked, turning to his brother.

"I want him in jail Cody, I don't want him to ever be able to hurt you or any other boys," Matt honestly replied. "Cody?" Matt watched his brother with concerned eyes, not liking the way he paled or the way he seemed to shrink in on himself.

Cody could see his brother's lips moving, but he didn't hear anything over the roaring in his ears. Other boys? No! It couldn't be, please don't let it be true. "Do, do you think there are?"

Matt stared at his brother uncomprehendingly, then as he went back over the conversation, he realized what Cody meant. "I'm sorry Code, but it wouldn't surprise me," he reluctantly answered, knowing it wasn't what his brother wanted to hear.

"There wouldn't be, if I had told, would there?"

"Cody, look at me son," Jesse gently ordered. "You were six years old, hardly more than a baby, you're not responsible for what Roy did to you or anybody else."

"But..."

"No son, there are no buts, not on this. There are only two people to be blamed for what happened to you and you're not either of the two."

"If," Cody swallowed hard, "if I have him arrested and he's convicted, what will happen to him?"

Jesse considered the question carefully, unsure about how much Cody could handle. In the end, he decided to keep it simple, "He'll go to prison for a long time."

"If he's not?"

"He will be," Matt promised from beside him.

"You don't know that Matt, what happens if he's not convicted? What if he goes after you like he..."

"Cody he's not going to come after me, I don't care what threats he made," Matt quickly assured him. "He only told you that so you wouldn't tell anybody what was happening. It's not uncommon for people who abuse kids to make threats like that to keep them quiet."

"Your brother's right son, Roy never had any intentions of hurting Matt," Jesse confirmed.

"Would Mom get in trouble too?"

"I doubt it, the way she handled it was wrong, but since she got you away from the danger the prosecutor probably wouldn't want to charge her."

"Oh," Cody quietly responded. Dropping his eyes to the floor, he stared at a swirl in the natural grain of the wood, unable to look his dad or brother in the eye.

"Do you want her to go to jail?" Matt asked.

Cody shrugged, he really wasn't sure how he felt about it. A part of him wanted to see her punished, but she was his mom, he shouldn't want to see her in jail. It wasn't right, he told himself, "Wasn't right what she did either," he whispered, unaware he'd spoken.

"No it wasn't," Matt agreed. "I'd sure want her to go to jail if I was in your shoes," he added. He had a feeling that Cody was feeling guilty and ashamed of wanting their mom to be punished.

"You don't think it's wrong?"

"No Cody, I think it's completely natural. She may not have been the one that hurt you, but she didn't do all she could to stop him from hurting you."

"She sent me away to protect me from him, isn't that what you said Dad?" He turned to his father, almost afraid to look at him, sure that he would see condemnation for the way he felt.

"It's what she said," Jesse confirmed. Reaching out, he placed his fingers under Cody's chin, lifting until he could look into the boy's eyes. "Even if that's true, she should've done more. She should've made sure Roy was arrested, instead she let him remain free. He could've decided to come after you, or he might've gone after other boys, something he couldn't have done if she had done all she could to protect you. I agree with Matt, if I were in your place I'd want everybody at fault to pay, no matter who it was."

"Thanks," Cody mumbled. "If I want him arrested, what do I do?"

"We go to the sheriff's office and swear out a complaint, then McBride will arrest him. There'd be a bail hearing and then a hearing to figure out if there's enough evidence to warrant a trial," Jesse explained.

"They'll let him go then," Cody sighed. "I mean, it's just my word against his," he quickly added. He didn't want Matt and his dad to think he was making excuses for not doing the right thing.

Jesse laid his hand on Cody's back, both as an anchor and to be ready to grab him if he bolted. "Actually son, it's not just your word against his."

"It's not?"

"When you were in the hospital, the doctor performed an exam, he found scar tissue," Jesse gently explained.

"Scar?" Cody whispered, at first not understanding what his dad meant. "Could they tell it was from what he did?" he quietly asked, when comprehension dawned.

Jesse nodded, "Doc said the type of scarring there was couldn't be caused by anything except sexual abuse."

Cody shivered. It was easier when they only talked around it, didn't name it for what it was, easier to pretend it was something other than what it was. He knew he'd have to get used to it, if he was going to have his uncle arrested.

"You okay son?"

"It's just hard, hearing the words said like that," Cody replied with a nod. "I'll have to testify, won't I?" he asked. He sighed as his father confirmed it with a dip of his head. "He'll be there, watching me the whole time?" he asked in a small voice.

"I don't know son, sometimes the judge in these cases will allow the victim to testify in chambers."

"Victim? That's what I am, isn't it? I'll always be a victim from now on. When people see me that's what they'll see, isn't it?" Instinctively, Cody's arms wrapped around himself, man, he hated the thought of his few friends knowing. What would they say? Would they stop talking to him? Would they look at him differently? Whenever he went into town, would people point and whisper? There's the boy that let his uncle...with a pained gasp, he turned to his father shoving his face into his shoulder as though, by doing so, he could hide from the reality of it all.

Jesse wrapped his arms around him, his heart breaking a little more at the anguish he could hear in his son's voice. "I don't see a victim when I look at you, I see a survivor," he quietly and firmly vowed.

"Dad's right Cody," Matt chimed in. "You're a survivor, a victim couldn't do what you're doing."

Cody bit back a bark of laughter, "A victim couldn't fall apart?"

"A victim couldn't have the person who hurt him arrested. A victim wouldn't be willing to testify against the man who hurt him," Matt clarified. "Those are things a survivor does."

"You really think that?" Cody knew that his brother was usually honest with him, but he had to know that he wasn't just trying to make him feel better.

"I really do," Matt confirmed.

"Before I go to the sheriff's office, I need to know one thing. What did he say to you Matt?"

Matt shook his head, a look of disgust crossing his face as he remembered his uncle's words. "Not anything worth repeating."

"Did he threaten you?" 

"No Cody, he just tried to convince me that it wasn't true. Robin interrupted us before he could say much else. I told him to leave and to not come back."

Cody sagged with relief, "Good."

"Cody," Jesse softly spoke, bringing the boy's attention to him. "When do you want to go to the sheriff's office?"

"Guess the sooner the better, huh?"

"I suppose, but I don't want you pushing yourself."

"Thanks," Cody smiled. "I don't guess it's gonna get any easier if I wait," he quietly added. Turning to his brother, he couldn't help gaining some strength from the look of quiet determination in the older boy's eyes. "Think you could drive us to town?"

"Think I can handle that," Matt smiled grimly. Pushing himself to his feet, he held out a hand to his little brother, pulling him up.

Jesse smiled, his heart swelling with pride over both his boys. Standing up, he followed behind them, letting Matt offer his brother the comfort and support he needed.

As they drove down the mountain, Cody leaned against his father, his anxiety growing with each passing mile. It was a good thing he was sitting in the middle, the urge to jump from the moving vehicle nearly overwhelming him as Tahoe came into sight.

"It'll be alright son, we'll get you through this," Jesse soothed, giving Cody's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Cody just nodded, his tongue suddenly growing too thick to talk as they pulled into the parking lot at the sheriff's office. Nervously he followed his father from the truck, letting the feel of his hand on his back anchor him, keeping the panic at bay. "I can do this," he whispered, too quietly for anybody else to hear as he eyed the building. He'd been here lots of times with both his dad and his brother, but it had never before seemed so foreboding. He remembered reading about the French revolution in History and he wondered if this is what the nobles heading for the guillotine had felt like. Feeling like he was once again in that fog he'd been lost in before, he let his dad lead him into the sheriff's office. He saw one of the deputies coming towards them, felt his dad's arm replaced by his brother's as his father stepped forward to talk to the deputy. The next thing he knew, they were in McBride's office and the sheriff was asking questions. If somebody had asked him later what was said, he couldn't have told them. From somewhere far away, he heard himself telling the sheriff what his uncle had done to him years before. When he was finished, he leaned back in the chair, vaguely aware of Matt's hand on one shoulder, his father's on the other. The sheriff excused himself, returning, Cody wasn't sure how much later, with a paper. Though he couldn't seem to focus on anything clearly, he somehow realized this was his statement and they wanted him to sign it. Taking the pen the sheriff offered in his trembling hand, he shakily wrote his name next to the red x at the bottom of the page.

"Roy came to see Matt earlier," Jesse told the sheriff. "He's probably staying at Jackie's place."

"Thanks Jesse," Mike acknowledged the information. Glancing down at Cody, he narrowed his eyes, he hated to see the boy like this and silently he promised that he would find Roy. If he had anything to say about it, that man would never get the chance to hurt Cody or any other boy. "Maybe you should take Cody home now," he quietly suggested.

"I think you're right," Jesse agreed without hesitation. Dropping to one knee, he placed his hand on Cody's leg, giving it a slight shake to get his attention. "You ready to go home son?" he softly asked.

"Is Matt coming too?"

"I ca..." Matt began, quickly changing his mind when he saw the flash of fear in Cody's eyes. "Of course I am," he replied. The rangers would just have to get by without him for a little while, this was more important. "Come on Toad, let's get you home." Putting action to words, he gently pulled Cody to his feet, wrapping his arm around the younger boy's shoulders as he led him out of the building. It wasn't until they were outside that he realized Cody hadn't even protested being called Toad, a clear sign of how upset he was. In that instant he knew, without a doubt, that he had made the right decision. He had failed his brother before, silently he vowed that it would never happen again.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Disturbing themes

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 11

Roy left the liquor store, a fifth of vodka sitting in the seat beside him. He couldn't believe this was coming back to haunt him now, after all these years. Everything had been going so well for him, then his sister's frantic call came, changing everything. Damn that little brat, he'd caused trouble since the day he was born. Well if the boy was going to start talking, he'd just have to give it some thought, come up with a way to make him pay. Hell, maybe he could even get some fun out of it. Yeah, he smiled, he had that cabin his friend had left to him up in the Cascades and it was still in his friend's name. That would be the perfect place for the plan that was beginning to form in his twisted mind. "Goddamn it!" he cursed as he approached Jackie's place, the sight of the police cruiser in her driveway leaving him with no choice but to continue past the house. At least the locals didn't know what he was driving, yet, he was sure it wouldn't take them long to figure it out.

Mike McBride had left his office only moments after Jesse Hawkes, his first stop had been at the office of the local prosecuting attorney. By the time he'd laid out the details of the accusations, the D.A. was only too happy to approve a warrant for Roy Kern's arrest. Normally McBride would send a deputy to make the arrest, but in this case he wanted to make sure that every procedure was followed correctly. There was no way he was letting Roy escape punishment because some deputy forgot to read him his rights, or some other mistake was made. Twenty minutes after obtaining the warrant, he was standing at Jackie's door, the warrant in his hand, ready to be served.

"Hello Mike," Jackie smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Mrs. Hawkes," Mike's greeting was cold and formal. "I'd like to speak to your brother Roy Kern."

Jackie gave him a puzzled look, "My brother? Roy lives in San Francisco."

"We know he's in Tahoe," Mike calmly informed her.

Jackie shrugged, "I haven't seen him sheriff."

"I have a warrant for his arrest, if you interfere I can charge you with obstruction of justice," he warned her.

"You're welcome to come in and look for yourself, but I haven't seen him." Stepping back, she opened the door wide for him. As he stepped past her and made his way up the stairs, she silently thanked God that Roy hadn't brought his suitcase inside yet. Stepping into the kitchen, she busied herself in preparing supper, wanting to appear innocent, as the sheriff searched the house.

Internally Mike sighed as the door was opened for him. He was sure that if she were letting him in this easily it could only mean that her brother wasn't currently here. It didn't take him long to search the house, confirming that Roy wasn't anywhere in the place.

"Satisfied?" Jackie asked as the sheriff reappeared in the kitchen.

"When do you expect him back?"

"I don't," Jackie replied. "As far as I know he's still in Frisco."

"Uh-huh," Mike doubtfully acknowledged. Without another word, he left the house and climbed back into his car. Pulling out of the drive, he parked the car across from Jackie's house while he radioed the office. Ordering a deputy to be dispatched to watch the house for Roy's return, he switched the radio to another channel. Sighing heavily, he keyed the mic, "This is Sheriff McBride calling Jesse Hawkes, come in Jesse."

Jesse glanced out the window at his boys. The sound of a voice coming over the radio drew his attention away from the scene outside. Turning away, he walked to the radio and keyed the mic, "This is Jesse Hawkes, did you get him Mike?"

"I'm sorry Jesse, not yet," Mike reluctantly replied.

Jesse bit back his anger, it wasn't Mike's fault that Roy had hurt Cody. "What happened?"

"I went to Jackie's to arrest him but he wasn't there. Before you ask, I searched the place, there wasn't any sign that he'd been there."

"What did Jackie say?"

"She says he's in San Francisco and no I don't believe her either," Mike added, knowing that would be the next question.

Jesse chuckled, he should've known that Mike knew him well enough to guess his next question. "What are you doing then?"

"I'm going to have her house watched 24/7 until he either returns or we catch him somewhere else. We will find him Jesse, I promise you that."

"I know you will Mike, thanks for letting me know what's going on, over and out." Laying down the mic, Jesse walked back to the window. How was he going to tell Cody that Roy was still free? He could only imagine how the boy would feel about that news. Reluctantly he walked to the door and pulled it open, "Boys, could you come inside?"

Matt and Cody looked at each other, both wondering what was going on. Moving as one, they marched into the house, though it was Matt who took the lead once they were inside. "What's up Dad?"

Jesse threw his arm over Cody's shoulder, leading the boy to the couch and gently lowering him. "Mike called, he got a warrant to arrest Roy."

"But?" Cody asked.

Jesse sighed, damn he hated this, "But Roy wasn't at your mom's."

"So he's still out there?"

"Yeah, they will find him though," he quickly assured his youngest.

"What did Mom say?" Cody asked. He was almost afraid to know the answer, but he needed to find out where his mother stood now that she knew Roy was being charged. Would she support him, helping the sheriff to arrest Roy, or would she support Roy instead.

"She claims he's in Frisco."

"She's lying," Matt growled.

"Of course she is," Jesse confirmed. "Mike knows it too, he's having her place watched while they search for Roy. Cody there's something else," Jesse softly spoke.

Cody looked at him, his eyes wide, "What?"

"I don't want you to go outside alone until he's caught."

"You mean I'm a prisoner?" Cody dejectedly asked.

"I know it feels that way son, but it's the best way I can think of to keep you safe."

"What about Matt?"

"What about me?" Matt asked.

"Are you going to be staying here too?"

"I don't think so Cody," Matt replied. "I need to be out there, I need to find him," he explained with steel in his voice.

"What if he decides to go after you, like he threatened?"

Matt sank down on the couch, next to his brother, "We talked about this Cody, he won't come after me."

"You don't know that," Cody argued. He knew Matt didn't believe he was in any real danger, but Cody couldn't stop the chill that ran through him at the thought of his brother being out there with Roy on the loose. "Wouldn't it be better if Dad had help?" he asked, hoping that if Matt wouldn't stay for his own sake, he'd stay to protect his brother.

"Boy's got a point," Jesse quietly offered. He understood what Cody was doing, knew that Matt probably did too, but it was still valid reasoning. If Roy did come up to the cabin, he'd have a harder time getting his hands on Cody if they were both there to protect him. "I think maybe you should stay," he added.

Matt sighed, he could see the sincerity in his father's face. Looking into his brother's frightened blue eyes, he felt his resolve slipping. As a tear slipped from the younger boy's eye, Matt folded, "Alright I'll stay."

"Thank you Matt," Cody whispered, throwing his arms around his older brother.

Matt was looking for his brother, he knew he had to be somewhere in the cabin, but he hadn't had any luck finding him yet. "Cody," he called again, trying not to worry. "Get a grip Hawkes," he scolded himself. He knew there was no way Roy could've gotten to his brother without them knowing. But what if, no, he shook his head, there was no way that Cody would step outside the cabin, no matter how much he was chafing at the confinement. Then again maybe he would, Matt mused as he glanced up. Climbing to the attic, he smiled grimly when he saw that the small door leading to the roof was open. Poking his head through the opening, he glanced to the side, not really surprised to see Cody laying flat on the roof. "Wondered where you were?"

Cody had heard him climbing the steps into the attic, just as he'd heard him calling his name, so the sound of his voice so close didn't surprise him any. "Wanted some air."

"You could've told me or Dad," Matt admonished.

Cody shrugged, "Sorry."

"Cody, I know it's hard..."

"I'm a prisoner Matt," Cody interrupted. "I didn't do anything wrong, isn't that right?"

"Yeah, that's right," Matt confirmed.

"Yet, I'm the one locked up while he's out there running free," Cody complained, waving his hand to encompass the vast world around them.

"It's temporary Cody, they'll find him soon and then you won't be the one who's confined," he assured him.

Cody frowned, staring out over the mountains he loved, "Is it?"

"It is little brother, I promise we will find him. Why don't you come inside now?"

"I need to be alone Matt," he nearly whined.

Matt studied his brother, he supposed he did need to be alone. "I guess as long as you stay laying flat it'll be safe enough."

Cody smiled, "Thanks Matt."

"You're welcome Toad," Matt grinned, ruffling his hair. "Just promise that you won't run off anywhere?"

"I promise," Cody solemnly swore.

Two miles away, Roy stood on the trail, studying the map his sister had made for him. Of course he hadn't told her what he really planned to do when he found Cody. She might not be willing to see him arrested or to testify against him, but that didn't mean that she'd hand the boy over to him. Oh well, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her...too much. After making sure he was on the right path, he put the map in his pack and hefted his rifle onto his shoulder. As he walked towards Jesse Hawkes' cabin, his mind wandered to what he would do to Cody once he had him someplace private. Then again maybe he wouldn't wait to take him away from his dad's cabin, maybe he'd take him right there within sight of his father's body. He could just imagine the whimpers and screams that would come from the young boy as he plundered his body, finally claiming him in every way possible. Just the thought of it was bringing a response from his body, making him more eager than ever to reach his prize.

He imagined his arrival at the cabin, already he could hear Jesse threatening him. Not that it would do him any good. He couldn't decide though, should he kill Jesse outright, or should he make it slow. Maybe he should let him live long enough to watch his youngest boy being raped. Roy grinned, yeah that's what he would do. First though, first he would tell the retired ranger of his plans to turn Cody into his slave. In graphic detail, he would describe the many degrading things the boy would be forced to do and endure in his new life. His grin blossomed into laughter as he imagined the look of horror and impotent rage on Jesse's face as he realized he was helpless to save the boy.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it, please feed the muse with reviews.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Disturbing themes, Language

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 12

Jesse watched his oldest as he came down the stairs, "Did you find him?"

"Yeah, he's laying on the roof."

"Cabin fever?"

Matt nodded, "I sure hope they find Roy soon. It's only been a day and Cody's already more antsy than I've ever seen him. I just don't know how he's gonna handle it if it takes them too long to find him." Rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, he prayed for an end to this nightmare, "Do you think there's any chance Roy left town?"

Jesse frowned, thinking it over carefully. "I doubt it," he finally replied. "I know your mom is denying it, but she had to have told him about Cody's memory coming back. There's no other logical reason for him to be here and now with Cody pressing charges, the only way he can stay out of jail is to convince your brother to change his mind."

Matt glanced towards the stairs, making sure that Cody hadn't decided to come down while his back was turned. "You don't really think that's all he wants, do you?"

Jesse sighed, he wanted to tell Matt that Roy wouldn't try anything else. He couldn't though, not if he were honest with himself. "I think he'd try that first," Jesse carefully began. "If that doesn't work, I think he'd do whatever he had to do, if it'd keep him out of prison."

"I was afraid you'd say that," Matt whispered. "I'm going outside," he announced, feeling a sudden need to check the area.

"Be careful son," Jesse cautioned. Moving to the window, he kept an eye on Matt as he moved around the yard. A sound from behind, had him turning, reaching for his rifle as he did. "Cody," he breathed, his soft voice sounding overly loud in the quiet cabin. Setting his gun aside, he moved to Cody's side. The boy's stillness and pale face had him worried as he lowered him to the couch. "You okay son?" he quietly asked.

Cody froze when his father turned. His father's wariness and obvious alertness, bringing home to him like nothing else could have the real possibility that his uncle would show up. Since they'd given him the news about Roy yesterday, he'd been trying to tell himself that his uncle wouldn't come here. He'd leave Tahoe and go back to Frisco, outside the reach of the local sheriff. He couldn't tell himself that any longer, his father's reaction had shown him the truth. Roy might very well come up here, into their mountains, and if he did, it wouldn't be to talk. "Yeah," he finally answered his dad. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle ya."

"You don't need to apologize Cody," Jesse assured him. "Maybe next time you could cough or something before you come into the room," he suggested in a teasing tone.

Cody smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, good idea."

Matt had finished checking the perimeter, relieved to see no sign of his uncle. As he moved into the barn, he was unaware of the eyes that watched him from the tree line. Walking inside the old structure, he checked on the horses, pausing to give each a little attention. "I know boy, you don't like being confined any more than Cody does," he soothed Apache as the restless horse nudged his shoulder.

Roy frowned, Matt wasn't supposed to be up here. As he watched his older nephew, he wondered how he was going to accomplish his goals without killing Matt. The answer came to him as the younger man moved into the barn. Carefully moving from the tree line, he made his way to the back of the building, being sure to stay out of sight of the house. With great caution, he eased open the door of the shelter, easing inside. Quickly he crouched down, giving his eyes a moment to adjust to the darker interior. He could hear Matt speaking to one of the horses, the calm way he spoke telling Roy that the boy had no idea he was here. Quietly he moved toward the blond, his gun raised, the butt pointed at Matt's head. Hesitating for only a second, he slammed the stock into his nephew's head, knocking him out. "Sorry Matt, but you shouldn't have been here," he explained to the unconscious man. Grabbing some rope from a hook, he tied Matt's hands behind him, followed by tying his ankles together. Dragging the boy to an empty stall, he tossed him inside and headed for the house. Brazenly, he stepped up to the porch and pushed open the door.

Jesse heard the door opening, he couldn't help being relieved that his oldest was back inside with them. "In here Matt," he called.

"Isn't this cozy," Roy smirked as he stepped into the room, his rifle leveled at Jesse and Cody.

Jesse glared at Roy, his eyes darting to the rifle he'd foolishly left leaning next to the window. Calculating the distance, he reluctantly came to the conclusion that he couldn't possibly reach it before Roy shot him. It wasn't the idea of being shot, or even killed that scared him, it was the knowledge that he would be helpless to protect Cody if that happened. It was that, and only that, which stopped him from making the attempt. Shifting his position, he did the only thing he could at this point, placing himself between Roy and his youngest. "What have you done to Matt?" he growled.

"Don't worry about Matt, he's just taking a little nap in the barn," Roy replied with a smile. Glancing past Jesse, he enjoyed the look of fear on Cody's face as he stood behind his father. "Come here Cody," he softly ordered.

"Stay where you are Cody," Jesse countered.

"Cody," Roy calmly began, "if you don't come here I'm going to shoot your dad."

He knew it was probably not the best idea to obey him, but he couldn't risk his father being shot. Reluctantly, he moved from behind his dad, taking a step towards his uncle. A hand on his arm stopped him.

"Don't," Jesse quietly ordered, pulling his son to a stop.

"Have it your way," Roy said with an indifferent shrug. Aiming at Jesse's leg, he pulled the trigger, dropping the man to the floor. "Now come here boy or the next one goes through his head."

"Dad!" Cody cried out. Dropping to the floor beside his dad, his blood ran cold at the sight of the growing stain on his father's thigh. Roy's order sounded before he had the chance to do anything for his dad. The last thing he wanted to do was get anywhere near his uncle, but he couldn't stay here and let him kill his dad. Doing his best to hide the terror he felt, he pushed himself to his feet and walked to his uncle's side. The unexpected backhand snapped his head to the side. He could taste blood from his busted lip. Turning back to Roy, he shot a glare at him.

Roy raked the boy with his eyes, licking his lips in anticipation of what was to come. "Ya got some fire in you, that'll be fun to put out. Tie him up," he ordered, handing Cody a coil of rope he'd brought from the barn.

"If I don't?"

"I kill him," Roy coldly replied.

"No!" Cody yelled. "I'll do it," he quickly assured his uncle. Taking the rope, he walked to where his dad lay. "I'm sorry," he apologized brokenly as he tied the rope around his father's wrists.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for Cody," Jesse whispered. "We're going to find away out of this," he promised.

"His ankles too," Roy waited until Cody had complied, before issuing his next order. "Come here," Roy snapped. "Crawl," he ordered as Cody began to push himself to his feet.

Hanging his head, Cody shamefully obeyed.

Roy smiled triumphantly as the boy obeyed without offering any argument. As Cody reached him, he automatically looked up at the man who held his future in his hands. "Did I tell you to look at me?" Roy growled. He smirked as the dark head dropped, his eyes fixed on the floor. "I asked you a question boy."

"No," Cody replied, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"No what?" Roy snapped, slapping the boy on the side of the head.

"No sir," Cody quietly answered.

"That's better," Roy nodded approvingly. Giving Jesse a hard stare, he was satisfied to see a look of pure hatred aimed his way. "Don't like seeing him this way do you Jesse?"

"You're going to pay for what you did to him Roy. If it's the last thing I do, I'll make sure you suffer every bit of the pain you caused Cody," Jesse vowed.

"I'm sure you would, but I don't plan to give you the chance." Glancing around the room, he considered what would be the best way to do this. "Stand up boy," he ordered. He grinned when Cody immediately did as he was told. "Strip."

Cody shook his head, involuntarily taking a step back. His eyes widened with fear as the rifle suddenly swung around to point at his father. "No, don't...I'll do it," he stuttered. Reaching for the button on his shirt, he began to strip. He couldn't look at either of them. He didn't want to see the shame he knew he'd see in his father's eyes, or the enjoyment he'd see in Roy's.

"Very nice," Roy murmured. "I want you to go lean over the back of the couch and put your hands behind you."

Cody blinked back the tears that threatened to fall as he shakily walked to the couch. Leaning over it, he placed his hands behind his back as he stared at the cushions.

"Leave him alone you son of a bitch," Jesse growled, struggling to free himself of the ropes that held him. He didn't know how, but he was going to find a way to get loose and when he did he was going to kill Roy with his bare hands.

"You're not in any position to be giving orders," Roy smirked. Moving up behind the boy, he smiled at the unconscious flinch his proximity brought. The smile grew as he loosened his belt, drawing it from the loops of his pants as the body in front of him began to shake. Leaning forward, he draped himself over Cody's back, "Nervous boy?" He didn't expect a response, didn't need one, the shaking providing all the answer necessary. Without another word, he looped his belt around the boy's wrists, drawing it tight and secure. "Did you know I never technically raped him Jesse? Don't believe me? Well it's true, I never put anything inside him except my fingers oh and once the neck of a coke bottle. Gonna change that today," he promised, leaning down to lick Cody's shoulder. "I love to feel you shuddering beneath me," he whispered. "Before I claim him in every way, I want to share my plans with you," he again addressed Jesse. A thrill swept through him at the look of impotent rage Jesse aimed his way. "When I told Jackie I wanted to talk to Cody, wanted to convince him to drop the charges, she was only too happy to provide me with a map to your cabin. Hell," he laughed at the look of surprise on Jesse's face. "You didn't think I found this place on my own, did you? She was so desperate to make amends with you, I think mostly because of Matt, that she didn't hesitate to help me. I lied to her of course," he continued as he ran his hands over Cody's back. He brought one hand down to cup him, squeezing cruelly, just to remind him who was in charge. "At first I was just planning to rape him in front of you, then I was going to kill you both. After all, dead men tell no tales, right? I changed my mind though, you want to know what I'm going to do now?" Roy sighed, feigning disappointment at the lack of an answer. "That's okay, I'll tell you anyway," he offered. "First I'm going to take him, right here with you watching. I want you to carry the sound of his screams with you to the grave, knowing it's only the beginning of his new life."

"No, please, don't, please," Cody begged, shaking with terror.

"He begs so pretty, doesn't he?" Roy smirked. "He'll be doing a lot of that from now on," he added. "After I kill you, I'm taking Cody with me to a place I know in the Cascades. He's going to become my slave," he grinned, the gasp of fear and surprise from the boy beneath him sending a thrill of pleasure through him. "You like that idea boy? No? You will, by the time I'm done with you you'll be begging for the chance to pleasure me," he promised. "I'm tired of talking, it's time to take what I came here for." Opening the snap on his pants, he pushed them over his hips. Spitting into his hand, he rubbed the saliva over his length as he prepared to take what was his.

"Get away from him you son of a bitch!" Jim Cutler called from the doorway, his rifle aimed at Roy's chest. "Get on your knees and lock your hands behind your head," he ordered after Roy stepped away from Cody. Coming up behind him, he planted his foot in the man's back, shoving him to the floor. Kneeling, he kept one knee in the center of Roy's back as he carefully set his rifle to the side. Quickly and efficiently he pulled a pair of handcuffs from his belt, something they rarely used but they all carried, securing Roy's hands behind him. "Don't move," he ordered as he stood up. Grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch, he draped it over Cody's trembling body. Reaching under the cover, he quickly remove the belt from Cody's wrists. "Come on Cody, sit down here on the couch," he spoke calmly as he led the boy around to the front of the sofa.

"Matt?" Jesse asked from the floor.

"He's fine, gonna have a headache, but he'll be okay," Jim assured the older man. "He shot you?" he asked as he loosened the ropes holding Jesse prisoner.

"I'll be fine," Jesse brushed off his concern. "Help me up," he ordered, his tone brooking no argument.

Jim didn't argue, he'd learned a long time ago when to argue and when not to. This was definitely a not to time. Helping the older man to the couch, he eased him down to sit beside Cody. "Hart's with Matt, it was the only way to keep him from charging in here and getting himself killed. You gonna be okay while I call the station? I want to have Frank fly up here to take all of you to the hospital," he explained.

"Go, we'll be fine," Jesse assured him. Turning to Cody, he cautiously wrapped his arms around his son. With effort, he suppressed the growl that he wanted to let go at the flinch from his son. "Shhh, it's okay Cody, you're safe now," he soothed.

Jim looked back at them as he left the room, tears shimmering in his eyes as he imagined the hell they'd been put through. Glaring at Roy, he questioned his own decision in detaining the man. After what he'd done to his friends, what he'd been about to do to Cody, Jim wondered if maybe he should've done the world a favor and just killed him outright. Shaking his head at his own thoughts, he continued into the other room and to the radio. Quickly he radioed the station, ordering Frank to fly up to Mr. Hawkes' cabin and telling Izzy to ask the sheriff to drive up to take custody of Roy. Laying down the mic, he walked back to the front door. Pulling open the door, planning to call Tim and Matt inside, he stepped back in surprise when he nearly ran into them.

"Sorry man, he wouldn't wait any longer," Tim sheepishly apologized.

"It's alright," Jim assured Hart, as Matt brushed past him.

"Cody, Dad!" Matt called as he entered the cabin. Staring at them, he felt his heart breaking at the sight of his younger brother, a blanket wrapped around him, as he huddled in their father's strong arms. Hurrying to them, he stopped as Cody's leg moved from beneath the blanket, his naked leg. "Oh god," he moaned, realization hitting him like a runaway freight train. Shakily he stepped closer, he was surprised that his legs were holding him up, as badly as they shook he should be on the floor. Finally he reached the couch, sinking down beside his brother, he softly stroked his hair as he looked across him into his father's eyes. "I'm so sorry, I should've been paying more attention."

"This isn't your fault Matt," Jesse assured him.

"If I'd been paying attention he wouldn't have been able to get the drop on me."

"And if I hadn't set my rifle down against the wall, he wouldn't have been able to shoot me," Jesse pointed out. "Son we can spend the rest of our lives second guessing ourselves, but that isn't going to help your brother."

Matt nodded, recognizing the truth of his father's words. "Did Roy..." he trailed off, unable to say the word.

"No, Cutler stopped him before he could, but it was close."

"This isn't over," Roy growled from behind the couch.

"Shhhh," Jesse soothed his youngest as his shaking increased. "He can't hurt you now, he'll never hurt you again," he vowed.

Cody huddled in his father's arms, wanting to answer but unable to form the words. He was vaguely aware of Jim Cutler's presence as he sank to his knees in front of his father, carefully dressing the wound in the older man's leg. Shuddering, he turned his head away, refusing to look Cutler in the eye.

Cutler shared a concerned look with Hart as the other ranger stood behind the couch, guarding Roy. As he finished dressing Jesse's wound, he heard the chopper flying overhead as Frank prepared to land. Giving Matt and Jesse a nod, he stood up and went to open the door. Once Frank came in, Robin on his heels, things moved fast. Soon they had the three Hawkes' men loaded into the chopper, after taking the time to help Cody back into his clothes. Jim stepped back as Frank fired up the aircraft. Watching from the ground as the chopper rose into the air, he silently vowed that Roy would never again hurt the boy he thought of as a younger brother.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Disturbing Themes, OOC

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns

Chapter 13

Robin sat in the hospital room, her attention split between Matt and Cody. She shivered as she remembered the scene outside, when hospital personnel had swarmed the chopper, quickly taking Matt and Jesse inside. As long as she lived, she didn't think she would ever forget the cry of anguish coming from Cody as his family was whisked away from him. It had taken both her and Frank to calm him down. Unfortunately it was a calm that didn't last long. Guiding him into the hospital, Robin had stayed with him while Frank arranged for Cody to be checked for any injuries, as well as treated for the shock he was obviously experiencing. Robin had accompanied the young boy into the exam room, in spite of the nurse's attempts to make her leave.

It was a good thing she had stayed, Robin mused as she once more checked on the youngest of the Hawkes. Cody had taken them all by surprise when the doctor began his examination. The man had barely touched Cody's wrist when the boy had erupted, fighting him as though he were in the hands of the devil himself. Robin had immediately stepped forward, speaking gently to Cody but she was only able to calm him a bit. It wasn't nearly enough and though she could tell the doctor hated to do it, he nevertheless ordered Cody sedated so he could treat him. Thankfully Cody had suffered nothing more than a couple of bruises on his face and slightly bruised testicles. Robin shuddered again as she considered how much worse the situation could have been. A moan from Cody brought her out of her memories and to her feet.

"Cody?"

Cody fought to find his way through the haze he found himself in. A soft voice called his name, a familiar voice...Robin. Slowly he forced his eyes open, confirming that it was in fact Robin he had heard. "Hospital?" he asked, confused.

"That's right," Robin replied.

"Why...oh God!" he cried out as the memories slammed into him with the power of a runaway train. "Dad! Matt!"

Robin grabbed his shoulders, pushing him back against the pillow as he tried to get up. "Hold on Cody, they're fine...they're fine."

Her words finally penetrating through his panic, Cody stared up at her as if trying to read the truth in her eyes. "Really?"

"Really, Matt's right next to you," she softly informed him.

Turning his head in the direction she indicated, relief flooded through him. "What's wrong with him?"

"Slight concussion, the doctor isn't really worried but he thought it would be best to keep him overnight for observation."

"Dad?" he nervously asked.

"He'll be fine too. The bullet was a through and through, so all the doctor had to do was repair the damage done by it and stitch him up. Luckily it doesn't seem to have done much, though the doctor said he may need a small amount of physical therapy later. He'll just have to see how well he heals."

"You're sure he's okay?"

"I'm sure," Robin confirmed. "He's already resting in his own room and mad as a hornet that they wouldn't put him in here with you and Matt."

"That sounds like him," Cody smiled. "Why wouldn't they put him in here?" 

"He had to have surgery, they're pretty adamant about surgery patients being in the post-op ward. The doctor said they'll be releasing him in the morning too." Robin smiled as Cody finally relaxed under her hands.

"Where's..." Cody trailed off, not sure what he should call him.

"Roy?" Robin asked, getting a nod in reply. "He's in jail. Jim and Hart stayed with him until McBride arrived to transport him to jail. They checked with him as soon as they got back to town, made sure that Roy is locked up. Then the two of them came by here to let me know and check on all of you."

Cody blushed, looking away as he remembered the position he'd been in when Jim burst into the cabin.

The door opened just as Robin opened her mouth to reassure him that he had nothing to be ashamed of. Turning to the door, she was shocked to see who the visitor was. She watched her uncertainly, trying to decide what to do, as Jackie made her way to Matt's bedside.

"Oh Matt," Jackie whispered, reaching out to brush his blond hair back from his forehead. "I'm so sorry," she continued with tears in her eyes. Glancing at Robin, she shivered at the cold look coming from the younger woman. "Is he going to be okay?"

"They're both going to be fine," Robin pointedly replied, casting a sidelong glance at Cody.

Jackie blushed, embarrassed and angry at the obvious rebuke. She knew she had messed up, but it wasn't the place of one of Matt's rangers to take her to task over any part of it. Hesitantly she stepped away from her oldest' bed and towards the one in which her youngest rested. "Cody I..."

"I'm sorry," Cody quickly cut her off. 

Jackie tilted her head to the side, puzzled by the apology. Sighing, she wished he would look at her, it would make this easier. No sooner had the thought entered her mind when Cody turned his head towards her. The raw anguish she saw reflected in the blue depths brought a gasp from her, making her wonder if it would be easier after all if he went back to looking away. "What do you mean you're sorry?" she carefully asked.

"Whatever I did that made you hate me," came the whispered reply.

Jackie felt her heart breaking, "I don't hate you Cody."

"Then why didn't you protect me from him? Why didn't you send him to jail all those years ago?" Cody demanded. All of these years he'd wondered, tried to understand what he'd done wrong. His uncle had always insisted that he was the reason his parent's had broken up and he had thought maybe that was why she did it. He'd never known for sure though and now, more than ever before, he needed to understand what he had done wrong.

"I did protect you Cody," Jackie insisted. "That's why I sent you back to your dad and never had you stay with me unless Matt was home." She had thought Cody, with the love he felt for his own older brother, would understand why she couldn't send Roy to jail. "I couldn't send him to jail Cody, he's my brother. You can understand that, can't you?"

"I understand," Cody whispered.

"I knew..."

"I understand," he interrupted her, "that you chose to send me away instead of him. I understand that you chose him over me."

Jackie blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. "That's not fair Cody," she protested. "I love you both, how was I supposed to choose between you? I did my best to protect you both."

Cody glared at her, his eyes filled with disbelief. "I was just a little kid, your little boy. You were supposed to protect me! That...he could take care of himself, I couldn't," he growled. "You want to talk about fair? You call it fair that when I came to you and told you he was beating me you called me a liar and spanked me for it? You think it was fair that after he...started coming to my room at night you sent me away instead of him? You think it's fair that you told him I was remembering what he did? What did you think he'd do if you told him that? You think it's fair that you drew him a map and told him how to find me? You think it's fair that Dad and Matt both got hurt trying to protect me from your brother?"

Jackie stared at him, shocked by the bitter anger she heard in his voice. Recovering somewhat from the unexpected attack, she finally found her voice. "I...he said he just wanted to talk to you. He's got a good life in San Francisco Cody, he didn't want to have to pay for a mistake from years ago."

"I can't believe you bought that," Robin scoffed.

"Excuse me," Jackie coldly responded, shooting a glare her way. "This is none of your business."

"Maybe not, but Cody is my friend, somebody has to protect him," Robin returned with equal coldness.

"You little..." 

"Mom," Cody interrupted before she could start a fight with Robin. "I don't think you knew exactly what he planned to do, but you had to have at least suspected that he didn't just want to talk to me."

"He's my brother Cody, I had to give him the benefit of the doubt." Though she didn't ask again, her eyes plead for his understanding.

Cody couldn't believe that she was still trying to gain his sympathy. Sadly, he knew he shouldn't be surprised by it or hurt, but he still was. "What about me? Did you even think about what he might do to me? Even if he was telling you the truth, did you bother to consider how I might have felt about it?"

"What would you have done Cody?" Jackie whined.

"I would've called the sheriff and had him arrested the minute he touched my son," Cody coldly replied.

"Really?" Jackie scoffed. "If Matt, the brother you love more than life itself, does something to one of your kids someday you'll have him arrested?"

"You're right Mom, I won't have him arrested."

"I knew it, you do und..."

"I'll kill him," Cody growled.

"Not that he'd ever have to," Matt spoke up.

"Matthew," Jackie smiled, turning to face her oldest son. She couldn't hide the relief she felt at his interruption. "How are you feeling honey?"

"Like I want to kill anybody who hurts my brother," he coldly replied. He knew it was petty, but a part of him enjoyed the flinch his words caused. The hand she'd extended towards his hair suddenly jerking away as though she'd nearly touched a hot stove. "I think you better leave Jackie."

Quietly she whimpered at the sound of her name rather than Mom coming from his mouth. "I didn't know he was going..."

"Oh I'm sure you didn't, that's the only thing saving your life right now."

Jackie swallowed hard, the venom in his voice catching her off guard. Stumbling back, as if from a physical blow, she stared at him in hurt surprise. "Matt please..."

Matt glared at her. He was nearly as angry with her as he was with Roy. How could she even think he would be sympathetic to her, that either of them would be sympathetic? "Get out."

"You don't mean that," she protested.

Cody lay on the other side of the room, listening with growing pain to their conversation. "Matt, you don't have to do that."

"I don't want anything to do with her, not after what she's done."

"You shouldn't lose your mom cause of me," Cody argued.

"It's not because of you little brother," Matt gently countered. "It's her own fault, nobody else's," he added, turning back to her, the soft expression he'd used with Cody turning quickly to a glare.

Swallowing painfully, Jackie backed towards the door, stumbling from the room. In the hall she stood leaned against the wall, remembering how her day had been spent before coming to the hospital. She'd been listening to one of the radios Matt had left at her place. The moment the call had gone out for an emergency airlift at Jesse's cabin, she had known she'd messed up worse than she'd ever done before. Praying fervently, she had listened with trepidation as Frank relayed information to the hospital during the flight. Her heart had nearly stopped when he said Matt was unconscious and Jesse had been shot. It wasn't until she reached the hospital that she learned Cody too had been admitted. That news had only added to her feelings of guilt, though she was sure none of them would believe her.

"Jackie," Mike McBride called to the blonde he saw down the hall.

Hearing her name, Jackie turned. "Mike," she greeted him uncertainly.

"Have you seen the boys?" he asked, giving no indication of his true reason in approaching her.

Jackie nodded, swiping at the tears that were beginning to fall.

"Are they okay?"

"Yeah, Matt has a concussion but he'll be okay."

Mike frowned, noticing there had been no mention of Cody. "What about Cody?"

"I'm not sure why he's been admitted, but he seems fine, considering." Ashamed of herself for not asking, she glanced away from the middle-aged sheriff, suddenly unable to meet his eyes.

"I see," Mike mumbled. Taking her by the arm, he gently began to guide her away from the room. "I need to speak to you," he explained as she automatically let him lead her.

She understood why he was getting her away from Cody and Matt's room now, undoubtedly he needed to speak to her about her brother. Not wanting the boys to overhear their conversation, he was leading her away so they could talk. As they came to a small alcove, filled with chairs, several yards from the room, Jackie came to a halt. "Is my brother okay?"

"Is your..." Mike bit off the question. Even after all of his years in law enforcement, some of them in Vegas, he was surprised by her question. How could she be so obviously concerned for her brother and yet not even ask why her youngest was in the hospital? "Your brother is fine," he ground out between clenched teeth.

"Then what did you need to speak to me about?"

Mike glanced up the hall, quickly coming to the conclusion that they were far enough from the room. "Jackie Kern Hawkes, you're under arrest," he coldly informed her as he spun her around, cuffing her hands behind her.

"What? I don't understand. Why are you arresting me?" Shock kept Jackie from struggling against the restraints, but not from questioning the sheriff.

"You're being charged with accessory before the fact in the attempted murder of Jesse Hawkes, the attempted rape of Cody Hawkes, and the attempted kidnapping of Cody Hawkes."

Jackie's eyes widened in shock, rape, murder; no her brother couldn't have done what he said. Snapping out of her shock, she protested, "You can't arrest me! I didn't have anything to do with what happened to them."

Mike ignored her, not bothering to explain that when she gave her brother, a wanted fugitive, directions to the home of his victim she sealed her own fate. "You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney and to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as I've read them to you?"

"Yes," Jackie hissed angrily. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. Well Mike would be sorry, her father would see to that. How dare he arrest her and charge her with those things! Well she was entitled to one phone call, and she knew exactly who she would call. Jackie seethed with anger as she was unceremoniously escorted from the hospital accompanied by the whispered voices and shocked stares from those they passed.

The moment his mom was out of the room, Cody rolled to his side, curling in on himself.

Exchanging a concerned glance with Matt, Robin cautiously approached the teenager. Gently she laid a hand on his back. Feeling tremors coming from him, she silently cursed Jackie Hawkes. "Cody, are you okay?"

"I want my dad," Cody nearly sobbed.

"Cody your dad can't be here right now," Robin reminded him. "I know I'm a poor substitute but I'll help if you'll let me." A sound from behind her had her spinning on her heel. "Matthew Hawkes you get back in that bed," she ordered. Knowing he'd ignore her, she quickly stepped to his bedside, blocking him from climbing out of the bed. "You won't help him if you fall on your face."

Matt conceded that she was right, but there was nothing short of death that would keep him from helping his little brother. "Then I guess you better keep me on my feet," he responded as he gently moved her aside and swung his legs around, planting his feet on the floor.

"Men," Robin groused, though in truth she admired his determination to take care of his brother. Stepping under his shoulder, she wrapped her arm around his waist, steadying him as he moved to his brother's bed.

Without a word, Matt climbed into the bed behind Cody and wrapped his arms around him. "Shhh, it's me," he soothed as the younger boy unconsciously flinched.

"Mmmatt?"

"I'm here," he softly replied.

"I want Dad," Cody repeated his earlier request, this time unable to hold back the sob.

"I know Toad, but he needs to rest too. Will I do until he can be here?"

Wanting to give them privacy, Robin touched Matt's shoulder, tilting her head towards the door in answer to his questioning look. Seeing he understood, she stepped out of the room. Standing guard outside the door, she settled in to help the only way she could, by assuring they wouldn't be disturbed.

Cody nodded, grateful that his brother would still want to help him after all the trouble he'd caused. "Why does she hate me Matt? What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong Cody, I promise you didn't."

Cody noticed Matt didn't try to tell him that their mother didn't hate him, confirming with his silence that she did in fact hate him. "Mothers don't," he sobbed, "let people hurt their kids, not if they love them. She let him hurt me Matt, she knew what he did and she told him where I was, drew him a map. I've tried and tried to figure out what I did wrong but I can't remember what I did. Please help me Matt. Help me understand," he brokenly plead with his older brother.

Matt tightened his hold on his little brother, silently cursing the woman who had given them life. The same woman who, with help from her own brother, had nearly destroyed her youngest child. "You aren't to blame Cody, I swear it. Have I ever lied to you?"

"No," Cody whispered.

"Then you can believe me now when I tell you the only ones to blame are Mom and Uncle Roy. You're an innocent victim little brother, you did nothing to deserve what that bastard did to you. You did nothing to make Jackie turn her back on you when you needed her the most. That is her failing, not your's," he vehemently insisted. As Cody broke down, sobbing in his arms, Matt began a gentle rocking motion as he softly soothed his brother with a quiet song. "Hush little cowboy, no reason to cry, your brother will sing you a sweet lullaby. Go to sleep cowboy, no reason to fear, cause all through the night I'll be here. I'll round up the moon for your pillow, a blanket of stars for your bed. I'll round up a dream of tomorrow, to ride toward the good times ahead. The coyote's singing this day to an end. A rocking horse trail waits around the next bend. So go to sleep cowboy, your brother is here and all through the night I'll be here. Loving you, holding you, ever so dear and all through the night I'll be here. Yes, all through the night I'll be here." Matt smiled down at his now sleeping brother. He only wished he could so easily solve all of the problems his brother was facing.

TBC

Hope y'all enjoyed the chapter. Please feed the muse with reviews.

A/N: The song Matt sings to Cody is called Cowboy Lullaby. John Schneider sang it in an episode of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Disturbing Themes

Rating: FRT

A/N: Italics and/or / indicates a flashback

The Past Returns

Chapter 14

"You boys ready to get out of here?" Jesse greeted his sons as he was wheeled into their room. Before they could answer they were interrupted by a knock on the door. "It's alright son," he quickly assured Cody. His anger rising again at the sight of his youngest nearly cowering in the corner, his older brother's arms wrapped protectively around him. "Come in," he called.

Looking grim, Mike McBride stepped into the room. A feeling of relief washed over him when he saw Jesse. "Jesse, I'm glad you're here."

The sheriff's words had Jesse instantly on alert, "What's wrong Mike?"

Damn, he hadn't meant to worry them. "Nothing's wrong Jesse," he quickly assured his old friend. "I do have some news though, I imagine it may be upsetting."

"Shhh, it's okay Cody," Matt whispered as his brother began to tremble in his embrace.

"What if he escaped?" Cody softly asked.

"He didn't escape Cody, I promise," Mike, having heard the question, replied before Matt could.

"What's this news then Mike?" Jesse asked.

Turning back to his friend, Mike sighed heavily. He couldn't help wishing that he knew how Jesse was going to react to his news, would he be angry at what Mike had done, or would he be grateful? Only one way to find out, "Jackie's in jail."

Jesse looked at his boys, his face grim as he tried to judge the effect the sheriff's announcement was having on them, especially Cody. Personally, he; happy wasn't quite the right word; but he wasn't unhappy to hear that she was locked up. His boys didn't need to be worrying about where she was or what she might be doing. "What are the charges?" he asked, turning back to Mike.

"Accessory before the fact to attempted murder, attempted kidnapping, and attempted rape," the last word spoken so softly that it was barely heard.

Matt was keeping a careful eye on Cody as the sheriff spoke. Though they couldn't hear what the last charge was, he only needed one look at his brother to know the younger boy knew exactly what the charge was. He only hoped Cody wouldn't heap more guilt on himself over this. There was no reason for him to blame himself for anything that happened to Jackie. Whatever she suffered could be laid at her own doorstep, he only hoped that the system would work this time and she would be punished.

"You think the charges will stick?" Jesse asked.

"Oh yeah, though I think the prosecutor may offer her a deal."

"A deal?" Matt questioned.

"A reduced sentence in exchange for her testimony against her brother."

"She won't go for it," Cody immediately predicted.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that son."

"No dad, I think Cody's right. She's already shown us she's willing to sacrifice anything to protect her brother," Matt argued.

"I hate to say it son, but she hasn't been asked to sacrifice herself yet."

Glancing at his brother in concern, Matt hesitantly asked, "You think when it's her neck on the line she'll turn on him?"

Jesse nodded. "Has her father arrived yet?" he asked the sheriff.

"No," Mike replied, his tone disgusted.

Recognizing the tone, Jesse knew his friend had not enjoyed whatever contact he'd had with Mr. Kern.

"He called, demanded that we release both of his children and drop these unfounded charges." Mike shook his head, still amazed as he recalled the conversation.

/_"Tahoe Sheriff's office, how may I help you?"_

_"I'd like to speak to the sheriff," a cold voice demanded through the phone._

_"This is Sheriff McBride."_

_"Sheriff McBride this is Charles Kern, I understand you have my son and daughter in your jail."_

_"Yes sir, that's correct."_

_"I want them released and these unfounded, malicious charges dropped immediately or I will sue you and your department for false arrest."_

_"Mr. Kern the charges are not unfounded or malicious," Mike quickly informed him. "As a matter of fact, your son is guilty of some of the worst crimes a man can commit. I would think that you would be concerned with learning the truth before you..."_

_"I know the truth," Kern interrupted him. "It's that man my daughter made the mistake of marrying. He's behind all of this, him and that boy that's so much like him."_

_"You mean your grandson Cody?" Mike asked, disgusted by the man's attitude._

_"He's no grandson of mine, too much like his father that one. You notice which boy it is that's claiming Roy did those horrible things to him. Matt loves his mother too much to hurt her like that. I'm sure Hawkes didn't dare try to convince Matt to lie about his uncle and mother, he knew that young man would never agree to such a thing."_

_"Mr. Kern," Mike snapped into the phone, cutting off the man's diatribe. "Cody isn't lying about what your son did. There are witnesses and I don't mean only his father. Let me tell you a thing or two about your children Mr. Kern. Your son Roy, using a map given to him by Jackie, hiked to Jesse Hawkes' cabin with the intention of murdering Jesse and kidnapping Cody. When he arrived, he knocked Matt unconscious, and entered the cabin. When the Rangers arrived, they found Matt in the barn, bleeding from a wound to the back of his head and reeling from the slight concussion your son had given him.  
_

_"I have a hard time..."_

_"I'm not finished Mr. Kern," Mike coldly interrupted him. "Entering the cabin, they found Jesse on the floor, tied up and bleeding from a gunshot wound. That wasn't the most upsetting thing they found, not by a long shot. The most upsetting thing they saw would be your grandson Cody, naked and about to be raped by Roy Kern, your son. Fortunately they were able to prevent the rape and arrest Roy. Your daughter knew that her brother was a wanted fugitive, she knew he was wanted in connection with an earlier crime committed against Cody. Rather than turn him in, or at least try to convince him to turn himself in, she drew him a map and told him where to find his victim, the main witness against him. I'm sorry if you believe your children are innocent but let me tell you Mr. Kern neither of them are in any way innocent. Now if you'd like to hire an attorney to represent them, by all means do so. However, I can promise you that the charges against them will not be dropped. Good-bye." Slamming down the phone, Mike struggled to get himself under control. At least now he had some idea of how Jackie could have done the things she had. Apparently that family was filled with people who preferred to stick their heads in the sand while living in a state of denial./_

"That sounds like him," Jesse mumbled. "Good luck dealing with him, you'll need it."

"Thanks a lot Jesse," Mike grumbled, though they could all tell he was only joking.

"I appreciate you coming by and letting us know what's happening Mike."

"It's not a problem Jess, I sure didn't want any of you to hear it on the news. I need to get back to work now." Turning to leave, he stopped and turned back, "I almost forgot, the prosecutor wants you to come by his office before you head home."

Jesse frowned, "It's not that pipsqueak that's trying to make a name for himself is it?"

"No," Mike quickly answered. He didn't blame Jesse a bit for wanting to keep that man out of this case. The last thing Cody needed was for some politically ambitious prosecutor to turn his case into a three-ring circus. The whole thing was going to be hard enough for the boy as it was, no point in making it worse. "Larry Williams is handling both cases, much to the pipsqueak's annoyance."

Jesse grinned for the first time since Mike had entered the room. "Good. We'll go see him after we get discharged."

"I'll let him know you'll be by in a little while." Turning back to the door, the middle-aged sheriff quickly left the room.

Jesse wheeled himself over to his boys, watching his youngest through worry filled eyes. "You okay son?" he gently asked.

Cody nodded, unable to speak past the lump in his throat. His mother was going to be sent to prison, probably, and it was because of him. Shouldn't he feel bad about that? What kind of person was he that it didn't really bother him? No more than it would've affected him to read of some stranger in the newspaper being sent to prison. He hadn't considered the possibility of her ending up in jail and he should have. Not for her sake, but for his brother's. He might not care one way or the other about her fate, after all she hadn't been a mother to him for years, if ever, but for Matt it was different. She had loved Matt, taken care of him and he loved her in return. Would he ever be able to forgive Cody if he sent their mother to prison? Would Matt begin to hate him too, the same way she did? No! Matt had never been cold towards him, and he'd been angry too when he found out what had happened. He wouldn't hate him, not for seeking justice.

"It's okay if you're not Cody," Matt whispered. "I'm not alright and I haven't been through the things you have." He wasn't really surprised when his little brother twisted around, pressing his face against his chest. "That's it little brother, let it out." Speaking softly, he kept his voice soothing as he encouraged the younger boy to release the emotions that he had tried to hide. Emotions that Matt knew needed to be gotten out before they poisoned his brother's soul worse than it already was. Damn them both for what they'd done to him! How could a mother let somebody hurt her child? Then she adds insult to injury by expecting that same child to feel sorry for her. God, his mother was a real piece of work, he thought with disgust.

Jesse waited patiently, giving Cody the time he needed to calm down. "Do you want to go get something to eat before we go see Mr. Williams?"

Cody quickly shook his head. He didn't think he could keep food down right now and if he did, he was sure it would come back up when he started talking about what had happened. "I just want to get it over with and go..." he trailed off.

Jesse didn't like the way the color faded from Cody's face, or the way he had suddenly stopped talking. "What's wrong son?" he gently asked.

"Where are we gonna go?" Cody asked in a small voice. He hadn't realized it until that moment, but he knew he couldn't go home, not now.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know, but I can't go back there yet," he shamefully admitted.

"Home you mean?"

"It's not home anymore, it's contaminated now," came the mumbled reply.

Damn, he should've realized how Cody would feel. A sudden inspiration struck him, "How would you feel about going to visit Aaron Bass?" he asked. "We can stay as long as you need to?"

"You think he'll be okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't he be?" Jesse was puzzled, they'd visited with Aaron several times, even staying as long as two weeks a couple of times.

Cody looked at his feet, unable to meet his father's eyes as he mumbled his reply.

"Look at me son," Jesse quietly ordered. "Want to try that again?"

Cody swallowed past the lump that was again trying to grow in his throat. "Might not want me around Jen now," he softly, nearly inaudibly, replied.

Hearing a sound of protest coming from his oldest, Jesse shot him a silencing look. "Why not?" he asked, though he had a pretty good idea of the answer.

"He might think I'm not the type he wants around his granddaughter."

"The type? You mean he'll think there's something wrong with you because of what that bastard did to you?"

"Yes sir," Cody mumbled as his head dropped again, his chin nearly touching his chest.

It took all of his willpower for Jesse to bite back the angry words his son's defeated attitude had him wanting to utter. He knew, however, that Cody would misunderstand his anger, thinking it was directed at him rather than his uncle and mother. He thought carefully, praying for the right words to help his boy. "Cody, you remember when I told you that Aaron is like a father to me?"

"I remember."

"Do you think I blame you for what happened to you?"

"No sir," came the lightening quick reply. That was the one thing Cody was sure of, it was everybody else that he doubted.

"Then do you believe I could feel that close to a man who would blame the victim instead of the criminal?"

Cody looked up, surprised by the question. When he put it like that, the answer was easy. "No you wouldn't."

"Then I'll ask you again, would you like to go spend some time with Aaron and Jen?"

Cody smiled shyly, "I'd like that."

"Then that's where we'll go, after we talk to Mr. Williams," Jesse firmly decided. "Have they brought your discharge papers yet?"

"Right before you got here," Matt replied.

Cody squared his shoulders, bracing himself for the coming conversation. "Let's go then." He was proud, and surprised, that he was able to keep his voice steady. Not trusting that it would remain so, he grabbed the handles on his father's wheelchair. Giving it a firm push, he led the way out of the room.

"How are we going to get where we need to go?" Jesse asked.

"Why with Robin's taxi service of course," a bright voice replied.

Matt smiled at the blonde ranger as she joined them, "Thanks for coming to pick us up Robin."

"It's no problem Matt," she promptly assured him. "That's what friends are for," she added before any protests could be made. "So, where to first?" It was a struggle to keep her voice light, but Robin had made the decision, while she waited, that the best way she could help her friends was to behave as though nothing terribly unusual had occurred.

Matt smiled gratefully, recognizing what she was doing. "We need to go see the prosecutor."

"Right this way fellas, your chariot awaits," Robin smiled invitingly. Leading the way outside, she stood back as Cody and Matt helped Jesse into the truck, before climbing in themselves.

The trip across town hadn't taken long and all too soon Cody found himself in the office of the prosecuting attorney.

"Jesse, Matt, Cody," Larry Williams greeted them as they took their seats. "How are you all doing?"

"About as well as can be expected Larry," Jesse answered for them all.

"I have to say I was shocked to hear of what happened at your cabin Jesse."

"It's true! I'm not making it up," Cody immediately defended himself.

"Whoa son, calm down," Larry soothed. "You don't have to convince me Cody, I don't doubt that your uncle did the things he's accused of, but it is shocking."

"Sorry," the teenager mumbled, reddening with embarrassment.

"It's alright Cody, I should've been more clear. I asked to see you, all of you, because I need to talk to you about what happened."

"What do you need to know Larry?"

"Well Jesse for now, I just need to hear, in your own words what happened up there?" Sitting back in his chair, Larry waited for them to begin, having found that this was often the best way to get to the details. Hesitantly Matt began with the attack in the barn, soon Jesse and Cody joined in, telling, as Larry listened with growing horror, of what had transpired in the cabin. "Thank you, I know that must have been very difficult ," he said when they had finished. "Now, has anybody told you exactly what the charges against Roy and Jackie are?"

"Mike told us what the charges are against Jackie, it's pretty easy to figure out what the charges on Roy are," Jesse replied.

"I'll have to testify in court, won't I?" Cody timidly asked.

"I'm afraid you will son," Larry confirmed. "I am going to do my best to gain permission for you to testify in chambers rather than open court. If I'm not able to accomplish that, I'll petition for a closed courtroom."

"That shouldn't be difficult since the victim is a minor," Matt commented.

"No it won't be. Frankly I'm hoping to avoid a trial all together." 

"A plea deal?" Jesse asked.

"Not much of one actually," he answered. He knew Jesse wasn't happy about the idea, not that he blamed him, if it had been his son he wouldn't like the idea of a plea deal either. "The evidence against Roy is overwhelming, as is the evidence against Jackie. The deals I'm going to offer are, for her, if she pleads guilty to accessory to attempted kidnapping, I'll drop all other charges and recommend that she serve 15 years in a minimum security prison. If she takes the deal, she'll be eligible for parole in 2 years. An addition to her deal is, that if Roy refuses a deal, she has to testify against him."

Cody paled, 15 years? Glancing at Matt, he was surprised to see his brother watching him, offering his silent support. Gratefully, he reached for Matt's hand, letting the older boy ground him as the prosecutor outlined his plan.

Jesse could see the effect this was having on Cody, and he wished he could spare him, but they needed to know what to expect. Focusing on the prosecutor, he let Matt take care of his brother for the time being. "What about Roy?"

"He pleads guilty to all charges and I will recommend that he be eligible for parole in 25 years. If he refuses, then I'll do my best to convince the judge, after he's found guilty of course, that Roy should be given life without the possibility of parole. I can tell you now Jesse, and I'll make sure Kern understands it too, that the judge does not like men who hurt children, so he'll likely see things my way. Given the evidence against him, I honestly expect him to take the deal. He'd be a fool not to, of course I've prosecuted my share of fools. Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

"Not right now, thank you."

"Will you be at your cabin?"

"No, we're going to be staying somewhere else for a bit. If you need to speak to either of us call Matt at the Ranger station, he'll know how to reach us."

Larry gave him a puzzled look, "Is there some reason you don't want to tell me where you're staying?"

"To be honest, I was going to tell you but then I remembered that Jackie and Roy's father will likely show up. Frankly I don't want him to know where to find Cody, the fewer people who know where we are, the less chance there is of him being able to harass my son."

Larry nodded, he could certainly understand that. "Well then, if I need you or Cody, I'll let Matt know. Thank you all for coming in so quickly," he said as they all stood up. Shaking each of their hands in turn, he paused when he came to Cody. "I promise you, young man, I will do my utmost to obtain justice for you."

"Thank you," Cody whispered, the promise catching him off-guard and bringing a flush to his cheeks.

Larry watched them go, silently repeating the vow as he turned back to his desk to begin the preparations for the case.

TBC

Hope y'all liked this chapter. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Disturbing Themes

Rating: FRT

Italics and/or / indicates a flashback

The Past Returns

Chapter 15

Jesse stood at the window of Aaron Bass' house, watching his youngest as he sat on the banks of Lake Jennifer. The last week had been rough on all of them, but it had been the hardest on Cody.

"It's hard to watch them hurting, isn't it?" Aaron asked as he joined him at the window. "Coffee?"

Jesse accepted the offered cup with a grateful smile, "I was hoping being here would help him, but it's not. The nightmares aren't stopping and each one seems worse than the one before it."

"His or your's?"

"I won't deny I've had my share of bad dreams in the last week. His have been a lot worse, they've gotten worse since Matt went back to the Ranger station."

Aaron made a disgusted sound in his throat. Ever since he'd joined the Rangers, Matt had gotten on his nerves. He didn't do things the way his father had, or the way Merlin Pierce did them for that matter. They'd had a way of making a person feel like they had a choice, some control, over their own fate. Not Matt though, he told you how things were and just expected you to do what he told ya to. Boy needed to learn more respect for his elders. Just because he had a college education and had the training to lead the Rangers, didn't mean nobody else knew anything. At least he had the good sense to listen to his father, in most cases anyway.

Jesse shot him a look. He knew Aaron and Matt had butted heads for years, probably would continue to for years to come. "He had to go back Aaron, he's got a job, responsibilities."

"That's bull Jesse, and you know it," Aaron argued. "His first responsibility is to his family. That boy out there," he nodded towards the lake, "needs his brother here, not off playing Ranger."

Jesse sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, "Actually Cody needs the break from Matt."

"Now why would you think he needs that?"

"Because every time he looks at Matt he feels guilty, no matter how many times Matt tells him there's no reason for it."

Aaron's eyes lit up with understanding, "He's blaming himself over Jackie being in jail."

"Matt's told him that the only one to blame for that is Jackie, but Cody feels like he's taking her away from his brother."

The old man shook his head sadly, "That boy...he breaks your heart doesn't he?"

"Yeah," Jesse quietly replied. "I don't know what to do Aaron," he admitted. Turning away from the window, he sat down at the small table Aaron kept in his kitchen.

Aaron joined the man who was like a son to him. Laying a weathered hand on Jesse's arm, he gave a supportive squeeze. "You'll do the same thing you've always done Jesse. Be there for him, love him, reassure him as often as he needs to hear it."

"I hope that will be enough."

"It will," Aaron assured him.

Cody stared out at the water of Lake Jennifer, lost in thought. He wanted to pray that his mother and uncle would take the plea deals they were being offered, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. How could he ask that they do something that would guarantee them prison time just so he wouldn't have to testify at their trials? A small whimper escaped him as he wondered again, when he had become such a coward?

"How much?"

Cody jumped, startled by the unexpected voice, as much as by the question Looking up, he was surprised to see his grandfather standing there. I should've known by the coldness in his voice that it was him, he thought to himself. "What do you mean?"

"Come on boy, you can't be that naïve," Charles Kern scoffed. "What will it cost to get you to drop these charges?"

Cody looked at him in disbelief. How could the man think he was doing this for money? "You think that's what this is about?"

"Well either these lies you're telling are about getting a payday or just plain old-fashioned revenge. Which is it boy?"

Cody stood up, glaring at the older man. "You know what? I used to be jealous of Matt for having the chance to get to know you. I'm not anymore, if this is what you're like then I feel sorry for my brother for having to deal with you at all."

"That's a very pretty speech boy, I suppose I'm supposed to be hurt now and begging your forgiveness?" he scornfully spat the question. "I'm afraid that if that's what you're after, you'll have a long wait. You still haven't answered my question."

"I don't want your money and it's not about revenge. The only thing I want is justice for what they did to me."

"So you won't be bought off?"

"No way," Cody firmly replied.

"Well then I suppose I have no choice but to try something else," Charles smiled. It wasn't a pleasant smile. "I'll speak to you later boy," he warned him as he walked away.

Cody shuddered, the tone of his voice and the coldness of his smile sending chills down his spine.

Charles stopped, as if he'd a thought had just occurred to him. Turning back to the boy, he shot him a sympathetic look, a look that failed to reach his eyes. "You know, with your mother about to go to prison, I hope nothing happens to your father. Of course, if it did, I'm sure the state would see to it that you were placed with your nearest living relative. I would imagine that would be me, after all your brother is in a dangerous occupation and a young boy like yourself should be in a stable environment."

"You leave my dad alone," Cody growled. Crossing his arms over his chest, he did his best to hide the fear that was running through him.

"Me?" Charles asked, feigning innocence. "Why grandson I was only expressing my concern, I'm sorry if you took that as a threat." Though the words were right, the apology reeked of insincerity. "I do hope, however, that you'll change your mind about continuing with these lies."

"I'm not lying! Uncle Roy hurt me and Mom knew about it. She didn't do anything to stop him, she even told him where my Dad's cabin is so he could come up there. He hurt Matt and my Dad to get to me. He was going to..." Cody trailed off, he couldn't bring himself to say the words.

Jen, Aaron's granddaughter, saw Cody talking to an older man. The man looked completely out of place up here in his suit and tie. That wasn't what bothered her though, it was the look on Cody's face. Worried for her friend, she ran into the house. "Mr. Hawkes there's a man talking to Cody and he looks upset," she said in a rush.

"What man? Where is he?" Jesse barked as he jumped to his feet.

"I don't know who he is, but they're down by the lake."

"Thank you sweetheart." Hurrying out the door, Jesse ran down to the lake.

"That's a lie, probably cooked up by your father. There is no way my boy would do something like that," Charles protested.

"He did it," Jesse firmly informed his former father-in-law. "Are you okay son?"

Cody nodded, grateful for his father's presence as he felt a strong arm laid across his shoulders.

"What are you doing here Charles?"

"That is no concern of yours Hawkes," Charles sneered.

"He wants me to drop the charges against Mom and Uncle Roy."

"Of course he does. You're actually speaking to the wrong Hawkes about that," Jesse coldly informed him. "You see, since Cody is a minor, it's up to me whether or not charges are proferred against your children."

"I know that Hawkes, but if the boy isn't willing to testify they won't have a case."

"But they will," Jesse smiled. "Matt will testify about being hit in the head by Roy. The Rangers that came to my cabin that day will testify as to what they saw. Then of course there's my eyewitness testimony and the testimony of the doctors who treated all of us at the hospital. If you want to help Roy and Jackie, your time would be better spent finding a good lawyer. Not that it'll do any good, not with the evidence against them. Come to think of it, I guess all you can really do is get ready to spend the next couple of years visiting Jackie in prison. As for Roy, I imagine it'll be quite a few years longer that you'll have to visit him behind bars."

"This isn't over Hawkes," Charles sneered.

"I don't know how you found us, but I'm warning you now that if you bother my son again I will have you up on charges." Jesse waited until Charles had left, before turning Cody back towards the house. "I'm sorry you had to deal with him on your own son."

"It's not your fault."

"What did he say to you?"

Cody swallowed hard, licking his suddenly dry lips. "He offered me money to drop the charges, accused me of lying."

"I can't say I'm surprised by that offer, it's the way he operates."

Cody nodded. Chewing on his lower lip, he silently debated with himself as he tried to decide if he should tell his dad the rest.

Jesse watched him carefully, he knew there was more to tell. With effort, he patiently waited for his son to fill him in.

"He threatened you," Cody finally whispered.

"Don't you worry Cody, he's all talk."

Cody turned frightened blue eyes on his father, "Are you sure? He said that if mom goes to prison that it would be a shame if anything happens to you. Then he said that if it did the state would make me go live with him cause Matt's job is too dangerous."

A curse slipped out before Jesse could stop it. "That won't happen Cody, I promise you. He's only hoping that if he can scare you enough then you won't testify. Your grandfather knows the law Cody and he knows that without you the prosecutor doesn't have much of a case, making it harder to get them to agree to a plea deal."

"I hope you're right," Cody softly responded. "How'd you know he was here?"

"I didn't know it was him, but Jen came in and said there was somebody upsetting you."

"I'll have to remember to tell her thanks."

Jesse smiled, ruffling the boy's hair affectionately, "You do that son."

"I wonder how he found us," Cody mumbled.

Jesse scowled, he wondered that himself. "I don't know, but I suppose it was inevitable that he would sooner or later."

Cody nodded, he might have lived his whole life on the mountain but that didn't mean he didn't understand the way things worked in other places. A man like his grandfather, with money and power, wouldn't have much trouble finding somebody who would be willing to tell him what they knew. The only thing he was sure of, was that it hadn't been any of the Rangers to spill the beans.

"Dad?" Cody called as he stepped outside a week later.

Jesse turned from where he sat watching the ducks playing on the mountain lake. "What is it son?"

"I was wondering if..." he trailed off, suddenly uncertain of his father's reaction. Stop it Cody, he ordered himself, he won't think you're weak. "Do you think maybe I could go see that counselor the doctor recommended?"

"I can call and make an appointment right now," Jesse offered, coming to his feet. He was relieved that his youngest was finally ready to talk to somebody about what he'd been through. He knew it would take time, but this was an important step if Cody was ever going to recover from the ordeal he'd been put through.

"Thanks Dad," Cody smiled, glad his father didn't think he was weak for seeking help. He had thought he could handle this on his own, but after what had happened earlier today, he knew he'd been fooling himself.

_/Cody knew his father was anxious to get back home, back to their own cabin. Feeling bad about keeping the older man away from home and if he were honest, wanting to reclaim the home his uncle had violated, he sneaked away from the lodge. At first his hike had been uneventful, but the closer he had come to the cabin, the more anxious he became. By the time he arrived at his home, he was shaking so badly that he could barely stay on his feet. Standing outside the cabin, too afraid to go inside, the memory of his uncle's voice and the feel of his hands on him, were pushing aside the reality of the moment. _

_The screech of a barn owl snapped him from his daze. Turning from the cabin, he ran back to the lodge as if the devil himself were nipping at his heels. Gasping for air and covered in sweat, he stood behind the lodge, bent over with his hands on his thighs, he worked to get himself under control./_

He had spent the hours since thinking about what had happened, both today and two weeks ago. Finally, though he didn't want to, he came to the conclusion that he needed help to deal with what had happened. Unless he wanted to spend the rest of his life hiding from reality and memories. Being his father's son, he couldn't bring himself to do that, although a part of him desperately wanted to. He knew it would take a lot of work, and be a long road, but he hoped that the counselor could help him to go home again.

Cody had soon found out he was right, six weeks into therapy and he felt like he was just barely started on the road to recovery. Though the counseling was helping, more than he could have imagined when this had all started, there were limits to what the counselor could do. The one thing he had learned, the counselor said it was the most important thing, was that he couldn't do this on his own. If he wanted to move past the betrayals of both his uncle and mother, he would have to let those who loved him most help him. He had thought he was letting them help, but he saw now that he had only been letting them help him with the surface problems. A part of him held back from them, he had told himself it was to spare them the difficult details. He realized now that it was fear that had held him back. Fear that, they too, would betray him as his mother and uncle had. He supposed robbing him of that trust in his father and brother was the worst thing they'd done to him. With help from his counselor he saw that now and he was determined that he wouldn't give into the fear that was their legacy to him. It helped that his mother and uncle had accepted their plea deals and both were now on their way to prison. The sheriff had personally delivered that bit of news just three days ago, along with the news that his grandfather had left town. Cody couldn't help being relieved that the older man had proven to be all talk, just as his father had said he would.

"Hello Cody," Dr. Jenkins smiled as the boy stepped into his office.

"Hey doc," Cody greeted him, flopping down into one of the comfortable chairs in the office.

"How are you feeling today Cody?"

"Relieved," he answered, not needing to give it any thought.

"That was quick," the doctor smiled. "Why are you relieved?"

"The sheriff came to see us a few days ago, my mom and uncle took the plea deals. They're going to prison, they can't hurt me anymore and my grandfather left town too. My dad said his threats were just talk, but I was kind of worried that they weren't."

"You're not now?"

Cody thought about it, knowing the doctor would want more than a simple yes or no. "No, I'm not. The thing is, he really hates my dad and I guess me too now," he added as an afterthought. "Anyway, he seems like the type that would hire somebody else to do his dirty work, but he'd want to watch. So if he's left town it means he won't be doing anything."

"I see, sounds like you've thought this out."

"Yeah, it helped once I started thinking about it logically."

"So you're relieved and did that bring up any feelings of guilt?"

"Yeah, but I kept telling myself the things we've talked about until I started to belief I don't have anything to feel guilty about. They're the adults and they knew that they were doing wrong, it's not my fault that they're in trouble. They could have made different decisions, either one of them could have, and then they wouldn't be going to prison. It's they're fault, not mine."

"You're absolutely right Cody, I'm glad you realized that on your own. That's a big step for you," he smiled. "Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"

"I want to go home."

"How close have you gotten?"

"I managed to make it inside and into the kitchen and my bedroom, but I can't go into the living room yet."

Dr. Jenkins nodded, making notes. "How long were you in the house?"

Cody smiled now, "I was there for two hours."

"Very good Cody, I'm proud of you," the doctor smiled encouragingly. "I've been thinking about your situation. I know how important it is to you that you're able to go back home. However, I also understand that it doesn't feel like your home anymore. The space was violated every bit as much as you were, is that accurate?"

"Yeah, that's it exactly."

"Cody, how do you feel about Native American spiritual practices?"

"I've got friends that are Native American's and my friend Jamie's grandfather is a shaman," he replied, confused by the question.

"Really? That's perfect then. You need to reclaim your home, but you haven't been able to. Your uncle's presence lingers like a malevolent spirit, correct?" At the boy's nod, he continued. "I want you to ask your friend's grandfather, or somebody else if you're not comfortable with him, to spiritually cleanse your home. Perhaps if you feel that the space has been, metaphorically speaking, scrubbed clean of your uncle's presence, you'll be able to reclaim it."

Cody thought about it, mulling the idea over carefully. The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. "I'll do it," he firmly decided.

"Good boy," Dr. Jenkins smiled. "I think that will be enough for today, I look forward to hearing how it goes at our next session."

"Thanks doc, see you next week."

Cody wasted no time when he left the counselor's office. His dad, after hearing the doctor's idea, liked it too. Driving away from the office, they quickly made their way to the Logan home. Everything moved quickly after that. He spoke with Jamie's grandfather, telling him what had happened to him and what he needed. He wasn't surprised when the old man agreed to cleanse the cabin as he watched him with wise old eyes.

The next morning, at sunrise, the old man met them at the cabin. Insisting that both Cody and Jesse needed to be involved, he had led them through the ritual cleansing of their home. When it was over, Cody felt, for the first time since the attack, as though he were once again standing in the home he'd always known.

That night, as he lay in his bed, looking up at the moonlight streaming through his window, Cody quietly sent a prayer of thanks skyward. He knew there was still plenty of work to be done, it would take him a long time to become the boy he'd been before. No, that wasn't right. He would never be that boy again, but with time and the help of his family and friends, he knew that he would be okay.

The End

Hope y'all liked this story, please feed the muse with reviews.


End file.
